Aaron Carter Comes Out as Bisexual then Backtracks

Aaron Carter Comes out as Bisexual; then backtracks and returns to the closet

You remember Aaron Carter from way back in the 90s?  Yeah, the same one who has undergone some SERIOUS personal issues such as retraining orders from his family, DUIs, rehab, and a few other things.  And we are NOT going to talk about the face tattoo.

A few years ago, Aaron Carter took to Twitter to talk about sexuality and came out as “bisexual”.  He said that the guilt of not being honest with his fans was weighing heavily on him for a large part of his life. 

When he was 13 years old, he realized that he was interested in and attracted to both boys and girls. 

Although he recognized the attraction, all of his relationships had been with girls. 

Shortly after turning 17, he had an experience with an “older man”:  a man that he had held an attraction for, was close to him while Carter was growing up, as well as being someone he worked with.  To say he is “vague” about the details is an understatement.

The next day, it was revealed that Aaron Carter and his girlfriend, Madison Parker had broken up.  The internet went wild with speculation.

Was Madison Parker and Aaron Carter on the outs, and Madison was threatening to out Aaron??  Later news reports quoted Carter as saying that Madison Parker didn’t “understand” bisexuality, and wasn’t supportive of his decision to share his sexuality with the world.  She denied this and said their “issues” were long-brewing and had nothing to do with sexuality, which again fueled the fire of speculation, “was she going to out him”?

Do partners really quit on you because you realize you are bisexual?  If they were really together, wouldn’t she know or at least have an idea that he had an attraction to boys as well?

Shortly after this (the dates don’t matter), Aaron Carter announces that his comments about bisexuality have been “misconstrued”. 

“It was more so just a story that happened when I was like 17 with somebody,” Carter said.  And it just happened to be a man, so he felt the need to share.

That was the beginning of his backtracking – trying to walk back the significance of announcing to the world you were not straight.

He continued by stating that he planned to be “pursuing relationships” with women and to have a family. 

His comments made people think that Carter was afraid being bi might interfere with his ability to hold a meaningful relationship with a female.

Those comments didn’t sit well with the non-straight community, and everyone chimed in that anyone of any sexuality could have a family.

Bisexuals and Same-sex couples settle down and have kids together all the time.  But Carter’s backtracking makes one wonder whether he was reacting to a sexual stigma that he had not foreseen. 

Then he upped the ante and said he was “confused”.  A collective groan among bisexuals around the world was heard.

Being “confused” is what every naysayer has said to a newly out bisexual.  “You will figure it out”; “You will decide whether you like men or women”; “You don’t have to choose today”.

No, you don’t have to choose.  Ever.  That is bisexuality.  It doesn’t mean you must like both genders equally; and you must act on that attraction equally.  You might choose to settle down with one gender, but that doesn’t change your sexual orientation.

Bisexuality is a scale.  Kinsey called it a 6 point scale.  Every other scale in the world is a “ten point scale” so I don’t know why Kinsey had to be different.

But on a 1 to 10 scale, with 1 being straight; and 10 being gay or lesbian; every number between them is a degree of bisexuality.  Yes, 5 infers you like the genders equally.  But most bis you will meet will fall somewhere else on the scale OTHER than 5.

And your “position” on the scale doesn’t remain stagnant your entire life.  It is truly a journey and sexual orientation often slides up and down the bisexual scale.  There is even emotional bisexuality vs sexual bisexuality, just to show how deep bisex is.   But this doesn’t apply to the Aaron Carter situation. 

Change and flexibility in the scale position does apply to Carter.  A few months later after announcing he would only date woman, he changes again and says he is “open to the idea” of dating men as well, if one comes along and “sparks” his interest.

Carter’s confusion lies in the future – he acknowledges his attraction to boys and girls, but he is confused about where his attraction is going to take him.  Aren’t we all!

When we see role models such as Aaron Carter walk back his acknowledgement of being bisexual, we understand why so many bi men go back into the closet (or never risk coming out!).  I find it sad to see anyone stay in the closet.  I find it even sadder to see someone go back in. 

I hope he finds the courage to be open about who he is without the fear associated with being non-straight.  We need more people being willing to step out of their comfort zone and acknowledge who they are.