What teens think about having anal sex
Whether you like it or not, the idea of having anal sex always hangs in the air among heterosexual couples. Although a lot of couples are experimenting, it has been discovered that women engage in it because of the very wrong reasons.
The research was published in BMJ Open, a medical journal and surveyed one hundred and thirty (130) males and females between 16 years and 18 years old. The study results revealed fascinating gender differences how anal sex occurred.
The result showed that men viewed having anal sex as a sort of macho achievement sexually, while women raised the fears of a damaged reputation and physical pain after having anal sex.
Male participants revealed pornography as their primary inspiration and motivator for having anal sex. They claimed it was more satisfying than vaginal penetration.
On the other hand, the women revealed they engaged in it just because they wanted to make their partner happy. Most women are under the false impressions that they will be regarded as rigid if they declined anal sex.
Interestingly, most couples were oblivious to the risks associated with having anal sex, especially the possibility of contracting sexually transmitted diseases through unprotected anal sex.
These views are not generalized and can differ for older couples.
Below are some tips you must keep in mind next time you want to engage in or try out anal sex.
You are advised to apply caution when it comes to having anal sex. Not to kill your vibe or diminish your excitement, but having anal sex is different from vaginal penetration. It’s a deviation from the norm so you don’t just impose the idea on your partner.
The anus has no natural lubricants like the vagina so you need to keep lubrication within reach. Also, you may want to take things a step at a time. Don’t just rush to penetrate, you may want to try out a finger at first, just to see if she’s comfortable with it. A sex toy is a great way to start small, just to know if she’s comfortable with it.
But you must be careful when using toys or butt plugs; an unfortunate man lost his life because he had a sex toy stuck in his anus for 5 days and didn’t care to seek for help.
Mentioned earlier, having anal sex can lead to sexually transmitted diseases so you need to wear a condom before you engage in it. It is also important for you to use different condoms for vaginal and anal sex during sexual activities to avoid infection. Don’t get carried away!
This is a generally overlooked aspect during sex but can prove dangerous if wrongly handled. You must pay attention to the kind of lubrication you use.
Not every lube can serve during sex. When using latex condoms, you must keep away from lubricants that are oil-based like petroleum jelly, cold cream, hand lotion etc., because of the reactions they engage with latex. The result is that the rubber is dissolved. Instead, when using latex condoms, you should use silicone-based or water-based lubricants.
The most important part is that sex is meant to be enjoyed by both partners. The partners must be willing to give up anything unacceptable to either of them. If your partner is not comfortable with having anal sex, you should simply drop the idea as you can live without it.
Did you know that indulging in sex three times per week per year burns the same amount of calories as running 75 miles? Whether you run 75 miles or have sex three times per week, you will burn 7500 calories to be exact. More sex – better health. It’s true.
Just because something feels good doesn’t mean that it can’t be good for you. Regular sexual activity can help you lose weight. Losing weight is better for your health. More sex – better health.
Sex is a form of regular exercise that raises the heart rate. An effective cardio activity, you should consider participating in sexual intercourse at least three times per week. I advocate having sex daily as I think it brings out the very best in both women and men.
We spend so much time watching television that it makes no sense that we spend less than one hour per week engaged in intimacy, especially in married couples, or those who live together.
In fact, intimacy plays a key role in the health benefits provided by sexual intercourse, Professionals warn participating in a promiscuous sexual relationship may actually produce feelings of guilt, anxiety and fear, which is not good for your health. Let’s just say I’m not sure I agree with the professionals on that one and question their motives.
Just like exercise, sex has many benefits including improved cholesterol levels and increased circulation. Men who have sex at least three times each week may even have a decreased risk of developing prostate cancer. More sex – better health.
Sex releases endorphins — those feel-good, pain-reducing hormones that are often associated with exercise. Some studies have shown that sex actually slows the aging process. The more you do “it” the younger you will feel. I am working toward the goal of feeling really young.
In spite of these health benefits and the sheer pleasure of the sexual act, Americans may still need a boost. At least one-third of American couples report “inhibited sexual desire” according to the Sexperts at Masters and Johnson.
The study did not take into consideration the level of seriousness couples assigned to the sex act. It would have been interesting to see if there was a difference between those who schedule serious sex and those who jump on a quickie as often as possible or just don’t take the sex act as seriously, making it more fun.
Muscles are the same. When we talk about muscle growth and muscle atrophy, we always refer to the principle of “use it or lose it”.
The same principle can be applied to sexual intercourse. Regular intimacy like regular exercise gets better the more you do it. Unfortunately the longer you abstain, the harder it is to get back into the action. Once the desire is gone, it is hard to revive those feelings.
Preserve your sexuality by making a habit of regular sex. Train your brain to accept all hte wonderful pleasures that lovemaking can bring. It’s a great way to slim down and get some good healthy cardiovascular exercise.
Remember — more sex – better health!
Why having sex with your itchy vagina is wrong. Infections make sex more complicated.
Vaginal yeast infection (VYI) is one of the probable causes of an itchy vagina and it is transmittable.
The truth is, with itchy vagina sex ought to be the last thing on your list (if at all it needs to be there). Oops! I didn’t mean to sound harsh. But the truths is always painful. I know sometimes your partners want it to bad that saying no will only make him angry. So, to avoid the wall-punching and thick air, you say yes with the itchy vagina because vagina-infection-talks do not make for an interesting conversation. But the truth (another truth!) is that saying yes to him (or her) actually does more harm than good. And you do not want that.
An itchy vagina is often caused by yeast infection which can be transmitted to your partner. Consenting to sex multiplies the casualty by two. It could also make the experience painful and possibly prolong the lifespan of the infection. In fact, (no more truths) the symptoms will worsen if you have sex.
It is advisable to avoid any skin contact around the vaginal area if it is swollen. This is because friction on the skin of the infected vagina will only make it raw. Any form of penetration will increase the inflammation. All these lead to more irritation and increased itching. Putting anything into the vagina (toys, tongue or even finger) will only aid in introducing new bacteria. This only makes the infection worse and prolonged.
Opting for vaginal lubrication is also wrong as lubricating and already moist vagina only makes vaginal discharge and itching more pronounced. Although men have very slight chances of contracting a yeast infection during intercourse, a low immune system only increases his chances. If his penis is circumcised, he also stands a big chance of contracting the infection.
There are a couple of things you ought to know if you want to have sex with an itchy vagina.
If you already met a doctor who prescribed medicine for your infection, you need to patiently finish your medication and be sure it’s treated before you think of having sex. The healing time with the proper medication is about 4-7 days.
The second option is for patients under treatment whose doctors prescribed drugs or creams for you to use for your vaginal yeast infection. You can give some of the cream to your partner to rub before sex as this can help mitigate the extent of infection transmission. But you must consult your doctor before you do this.
The use of condoms is another effective option. But if you applied an antifungal medication, the condoms will likely damage if it is made from polyisoprene and latex. You need to be careful. Sadly, the use of condoms might also make your itchy vagina even more itchy or aggravated.
The best and effective choice is to wait for the infection to clear before you can have sex again.
Sex addiction – uncontrollably engaging in sexual activities now classified as a mental disorder
…logically!
Up till now, sex addiction had been classified as a condition non-diagnosable, but the latest amendment submitted to the WHA, World Health Assembly, resolved that sex addiction will be classified a kind of mental disorder starting 2022.
When we hear addiction, what comes to mind first is drugs, then maybe followed by gambling or alcohol or some obsessive behaviors. Even most dictionary definitions have “compulsive drug use” to be their first definition of addiction. But that’s not all. It also means engaging in behavior regardless of the negative consequences. Like sex.
Sex addiction then can be defined as a person’s compulsive engagement to sexual activities despite the negative consequences. Sex addiction has been a disorder classified as non-diagnosable, until lately. The reason is because sex is considered personal with each having different degrees of sexual urge.
A recent research result delivered at the World Health Assembly, updated the definition of sex addiction to read, ‘a repetitive failure or inability to control or contain intense sexual urge as a result of the brain’s malfunction.’
According to the recent International Classification of Diseases (ICD-11) by WHO, (World Health Organization), the notion that sexual drive is personal was disposed of since individual who is addicted to sex do not get any form of (or very little) emotional fulfillment from engaging in the compulsive sexual acts. In contrast, they are often left with feelings of shame and guilt after performing compulsive sexual activities.
Here is the detail as stated by WHO.
The alteration in one’s thought pattern is the first sign of any addiction. Sex addiction consumes a person’s thought making the individual want to constantly engage in sex activities regardless of time and place. In addition to the unhealthiness of the whole endeavor, sex addiction has the potential to destroy a person’s relationship. Some of the obvious symptoms of addiction are reflected in masturbation, excessive participation in sex (??), cybersex or watching pornography. Patients with this disorder often have stimulation-seeking behavior in their personal and professional lives.
Other symptoms of sex addiction include having numerous sex partners and visiting sex workers regularly.
Source of sex addiction
The no specific cause or a general convention on what leads to sex addiction. Although some research results show that basal condition like loneliness and severe depression can set off compulsive sexual activities.
Risks of Sex Addiction
The foremost and immediate effect of sex addiction is the shame and guilt felt after engaging in the compulsive activities. This can subsequently lead to depression and anxiety feelings. A sex addict also stands a huge chance of setting off huge health complications like sexually transmitted infections and diseases (STDs & STIs). The other failure results in loss of quality relationships, family and friends. There are many reasons for this, maybe the sudden alienation of the sex addict or tendency to avoid human relation.
The reason why sex addiction has been off the list of mental disorders for so many years is that it is not detected during brain scans. But the recent International Classification of Diseases (ICD-11), stated that it can be called an addiction if a person continually shows signs of compulsive sex behaviors further than 180 days.
Like alcohol, the most potent method for combating sex addiction is group therapy. Where patients with the same condition assembly to motivate then challenge each other to defeat the compulsive behavior. Medications that aid control of the intense sexual desire/urge are also prescribed by doctors.
The most common complaint is not just the taste, but the after-taste. Your partner will most likely want to get up and gargle or brush after taking a load in the mouth – whether or not they swallowed or spit.
I have always believed that a man should taste his own cum. Yep, one day while you are alone and masturbating, catch a glob in your hand and put it in your mouth. Yuck you say?? But you want us to catch yourjizz in our mouth; show it to you; and then swallow it. Yet you are too grossed out to taste it yourself in private? Wimp. 🙂
If you think it tastes so bad, why would you even ask us to accept it in our mouth, or worse yet, swallow it? Aren’t you being insensitive to us? Asking us to do something that you are too disgusted to do yourself?
Kudos to you if you HAVE tasted or swallowed yourjizz. You get brownie points in my book. That means you care.
Even if you tasted it once, you probably don’t know how each day and each individual food you consume affects the taste and smell. In the south for example, boiled crawfish nights are also known as NO SEX nights.
Pepper in the vagina is a no-no, because you can not get the pepper and seasonings off your hands. Crawfish eaters will understand that the seasonings get deep into the skin as you apply pressure to break the tails to get to the meat.
And you can’t get it out of the mouth either. And until a guy experiences pepper in his pee-hole, he will not understand why oral sex is a no-no.
But the absolute worst part of crawfish night is not as polite to say! Everything that a man eats is processed through the body. And yes, everything affects the taste of yourjizz.
Take one load of cum in your mouth after your partner has had all the garlic, and cayenne and salt (especially salt!!) running through his body along with a few bottles of beer, and you will be certain to never forget that taste. In fact, it might be difficult to take a load of semen in your mouth again because you relate it to the previous horrible warm, salty taste.
Did you know Miley Cyrus was an ejaculate expert? Read what she had to say about the “art” she creates:
““I did the pineapple because you know what they say about pineapple, right?” she said. “If you drink a lot of pineapple juice you’re going to have yummy cum. So that’s why I put it on the dick with a bunch of babies, and it says, ‘Fuck.’ I try to think about everything so it has a story to me.””
Although I don’t think she was trying to pull-a-Kellyanne-Conway on us and promote a product, there used to be a product (that failed) called “Yummy Cum”. It didn’t work from the first day (terrible reviews all over the internet) and I don’t think it is made anymore. I liked their ads though — designed for men — as they should be!
A man’s ejaculate can taste (warm and) bitter, mild, sweet, salty, sour, or tasteless. The taste depends 100% on what a man puts into his mouth – and more specifically – what he ate and drank within the last 48 hours.
What type of men taste the best? I know I will catch hell for this, but guys who exercise and eat right, including lots of fruits and vegetables (with a few exceptions like cauliflower and asparagus) tend to have the best tasting (and smelling) semen.
Stay away from the usual vices — alcohol (BEER!), cigarettes, caffeine (COFFEE!) and drugs — which can give a strong odor and a bitter taste. Salty foods (and processed foods high in sodium) will pass through to the semen and give a strong odor and a very salty taste.
Fruits are your friend. Pineapple and other melons are a must. They tend to either NEUTRALIZE your semen taste and smell or they add to the natural sweetened taste. Yourjizz is not going to taste like divinity (a southern white ultra sweet fudge made of sugar and egg-whites) but it will taste better.
As a rule of thumb, the more bitter you put into your system, the more bitter the semen taste. The same with sweet fruits. Chocolates and other sweet candies are not known to sweeten the semen very much however. I’ve read where Cinnamon also helps with semen flavor, but I have never tried.
We have sold a “cum sweetener” for years but the product is losing favor as guys realize there are natural and cheaper ways to handle the cum taste. However, we have sold this product forever. And it is still available today in our warehouse.
And by the way, “pre-cum” always taste different from cum (the actual ejaculate). It is almost impossible to change the taste of pre-cum because of what the body is using the pre-cum for. As they say, don’t judge a book by its cover; and don’t judge a man’s cum by the taste of his pre-cum.
Yes! Staying hydrated, drinking LOTS of water helps dilute and eliminate some of the bad taste producers in your body. It dillutes yourjizz — and when it comes to taste, dillution is a good thing.
The best thing your partner can tell you after taking yourjizz in the mouth is, “I didn’t taste anything”. That means that you were hydrated, your semen was diluted, and you are watching what you eat. After a few success like that, your partner should not have an issue taking you in the mouth each time.
Letting your partner splooge in your mouth is an acquired taste. Many people believe, myself included, that if I am going to suck your dick to completion, I want every drop in my mouth; not on my face or tits, or in my eye. I think of it as a reward for a good blowjob and I want it in my mouth.
But you might just get it in my mouth ONE TIME.
Whether or not I let you blow yourjizz in my mouth the second time depends on how bad you taste. I’ll make a mental note and if your semen tastes like shit, I guarantee it will never hit my tongue again.
On the other hand, if your cum tastes good (or at least, “not bad”), I’ll take it in my mouth and keep it there for a while. I might even open my mouth to show you before I swallow every drop.
I’m shocked when I hear about partners who can’t give a blow job, won’t give a blow job or feign ignorance on how to give a blow job. I ask incredulously, “How can you NOT enjoy sucking dick? Do you like your va-jay-jay licked?”.
Don’t agree? Ask any guy who is GOOD at licking pussy. 100 out of 100 times the answer will be the same. If he is good at licking pussy, it means he LOVES LICKING PUSSY. Guys that just touch their tongue to your va-jay-jay just to say they did it, aren’t worth a second try.
Or as one of the guys I dated did: He counted fifty strokes of his tongue. Then foreplay was over and he could fuck me. That lasted two times. He quickly hit the “ex” list.
Yes, I know that I am off the subject a bit, but the comparison is valid. The more you like giving a blowjob the more likely you will want to swallow. Just like the more you enjoy licking the va-jay-jay, the more likely you will do it for longer times and will be good at it.
Tip #1: Oral sex lubes or lotions applied to the penis will disguise whatever flavor your partner’s ejaculate yields – but not necessary the after taste.
Tip #2: If I know that I will be giving head, I bring a bottle of Pepsi to bed and leave it on the night table. After taking 
the load in my mouth, and then swallowing, I take a sip of Pepsi.
The carbonation and sweetness eliminate any possible after taste. One sip of Pepsi and there is never any desire to get up and gargle or rinse my mouth.
Better sex — for you and your partner — can be learned. But you must WANT to learn and want to BE better at sex.
This is an original LoveWorks Magazine feature by resident sex expert Christianne!
Q&A – Is it wrong for me to enjoy casual sex? I’m female.
…But you must take precaution
Yes, women are interested in casual sex as much as men. Shocker? Not really. But you must take certain precautions and remember a few things before you decide to make-out with a total stranger.
The trend today is all about making out, having sex, flirting with no form of commitment in mind. We all want to hook-up. Nobody cares about growing a relationship. A serious relationship? Let’s just have sex.
For some hook-up means something less than intercourse, like flirting which eventually leads to kissing and anything but actual intercourse. But generally, hook-up means having casual sex or sexual encounter with someone (mostly a stranger) with no form of future commitments in mind. It a widely accepted myth that men are more interested in casual sex experience.
Women are modest when it comes to having a sexual experience with a total stranger. If a study from Johannes Gutenberg-Universität Mainz in Germany is anything to go by, then, women equally interested in hook-ups as men. Sixty (60) heterosexual men and women were studied in a laboratory by researchers. The research was disguised as a survey for a dating site online.
The researchers discovered that women were as interested in casual sex as men if certain factors are put in mind. The women unlike the men have safety concerns, they want to be sure they won’t face any form of danger and won’t be up for unnecessary social stigma hence, the reason they appear modest. They discovered that women were okay with having sexual experience with strangers (they think are attractive) if all these factors are met.
So, as a woman who is sexually active and liberated, you should go ahead with your casual fantasies knowing you are not all by yourself. Act on your hook-up fantasies with no form of guilt. Enjoy it. But first, you need to follow these steps below to help you stay safe & sexy, healthy & free.
Before you engage in one-night stands, you need to take the following precaution:
You need to stay healthy by eating healthy and nutritious food that can boost your sexual stamina and avoid foods that have substances that are likely to pose a threat to your health. Participating in regular exercises also go a long way to keep us fit and strong.
Avoid potential partners who try to use their body or sexual appetites to woo you.
You must be careful when using your phones. In this age of acceleration and connectivity like never before, you must be careful on what you share on social media. This will save you lots of trouble especially from slut-shame. You do not want any part it.
If you are passing through a dry spell with no attractive partner in view, you need to take charge. Instead of hooking up with fewer ideal mates, with no form of guilt and shame acquire intimate sex toys. They are safe and they save you loads of potential bullshit. Besides, they are fun!
So long as you are happy and healthy, you need to be comfortable in your skin and appreciate your body no matter how old you are.
It has been proven that women crave sex more as they age, so don’t fight the idea or be ashamed of hooking up with younger men who can satisfy your new-found energy.
Happy endings are not just for men! And Dr Umit Sayin set out to prove that the types of female orgasms women experience are more intense and more out-of-body than men are able to experience.
Yes, Dr Umit studies the different methods and types of female orgasm. I’m not sure how he got that job; if he was “recommended”, or just knew the right people. But it was his job to study, analyze and present factual date (you know the kind with big words that go in academic style publications such as neuroquantology). And according to his research, the first documented study of the female orgasm was in 1883!
In fact, it was believed that an orgasm was a necessary medical practice to cure hysteria. There is a great and very entertaining movie called Hysteria from 2011 that you should watch.
In those early days, women went to the doctor’s office to have an orgasm.
Thankfully, we don’t need a doctor’s excuse to stay home and scream.
First, Dr Umit believes that women go into a different state of consciousness that he calls “orgasmic consciousness”. At that moment, they are only mildly aware of their surroundings as their mind is trying hard to process and keep with the feelings of female orgasm.
But all female orgasm are not the same. According to Dr Umit,
“clitoral and vaginal orgasms are two separate entities”
Although it is possible to have a blended orgasm, the way the orgasm is processed is different on the type of stimulation.
But the fact that many readers already knew, is that women who reach these itense, out-of-body orgasms are known to have a higher sex drive, tend to masturbate more and for longer periods, and attempt to bring themselves to orgasm through multiple methods.
But first, I want to explain my point of view. I don’t work for LoveWorks in the stores or online. But when I write about sexuality, and specifically in this case, orgasm, there are certain toys that can speed up and intensify orgasm. That is why I get advice from Madame Red and Lady Siren about which of the toys I should include.
What is an orgasm?
According to Dr Umit,
“Female orgasm is a neuro-psychological response and peak experience that results from the accumulated sexual tension, sexual stimulation, arousal and internal sexual build up, which is accompanied by neural and psychological discharge.”
In other studies, it was described as “pleasurable convulsions”; “release of sexual tension”; “an internal volcanic eruption”; and the highly technical, “involuntary reflex action accompanied by unterine/vaginal contractions.” Well, however you want to define a female orgasm is ok with us! We just know if feels good and we want more.
As I stated earlier, the orgasm differences between a man and a woman are unique. Men have the “refractory period”, which is the time needed to charge for the next orgasm/ejaculation.
But because (most) women have no such refractory period, their orgasmic “state” can start again immediately following an orgasm. And because there is technically no resting involved, those orgasms can continue for minutes into hours.
Some women tend to believe that an “orgasm is an orgasm”. But studies and interviews with women disprove that theory. Some women can orgasm by having their nipples gently sucked while others can not. It all depends on your “wiring” and the way erotic feelings pass through your body.
And the harsh reality is that most women don’t know what it takes to make them orgasm. Statistically in fact, over 30% of women are not able to climax during intercourse.
The most sensitive and intense spot on your body is your clitoris. In fact, there are over 8000 nerve endings all attached to and around that tiny little bit of skin.
But did you know that jumping directly on the clitoris first deprives you of a more intense orgasm?
Having your other erogenous zones stimulated (touched, carressed, kissed, fondled) tends to build up the sexual tension, and ultimately provides for a stronger and more intense orgasm.
Vibrators can intensify your orgasm, and help you to obtain them faster and with greater frequency.
One of the vibrators that is suggested not only for orgasm play, but for nipple vibration, and overall caressing, is the Hello Touch Fingertip Vibrator in white and in black.
There are some other differences between them besides the color and price, but you can read about that by clicking on the color.
The other vibrator that Madame Red suggested in the Sensuelle Point vibrating bullet, which Madame Red reviewed here (and loves).
“The Sensuelle Point is an excellent bullet vibrator and I suggest it all the time. It is well made, last a long time, and has so many functions to make your experiences different each time.”
You can buy her favorite toy here.
There are different beliefs on whether the g-spot really exists with a huge percentage claiming to experience orgasms generated through the rubbing of the penis on a certain spot inside the vagina. Naysayers however, haven’t experienced such an orgasm and don’t believe them.
During intercourse, differert sexual positions will press the penis into rubbing the g-spot – the spot at the top of the vaginal opening, about 1-2 “finger joints” in. It takes practice and experimentation to get to the “sweet position” that feels the best. It also takes longer to build a g-spot orgasm, so your man will need to take a deep breath and possibly slow down.
There are also dozens of “g-spot” designed adult toys that are curved at the end to help you find your sensitive spot.
A blended orgasm is reached by simultaneously rubbing the clitoris and the g-spot. There is a rhythym to this method and like everything else, takes experience and practice.
Adding a vibrating bullet (like the toys shown previously) to your clit during intercourse, and having your partner try to position himself to hit the g-spot, is one way to speed up and intensify that sometimes elusive female orgasm!
Some women also talk about using a smaller “Rabbit” vibrator (like the Ina Wave Cerise) for combined or blended orgasms, but inserting the rabbit at an angle and only partially in, while keeping the vibrating tip on the clitoris. I’ve never tried this so I offer no suggestions.
I’m not sure why, but multiple female orgasms scare some women. Dozens have told me that they are not comfortable with the idea of multiple orgasms for reasons that varied from “he only gets one, I should only get one” … to “I lose my mind during multiple orgasms and I don’t like feeling the loss of control”.
Everyone else in the world is saying, “HELL YES, I WANT MULTIPLE ORGASMS”.
And just for the record, multiple orgasms occur one after the other after the other wthout stop. It is not the same as having more than one orgasm in one “session”.
Another reason women say they don’t have (or want) multiple orgasms is their intense sensitivity after the first orgasm. They find themselves so sensitive that they can not continuously be stimulated. And that is why I said earlier, that some women DO HAVE a refractory period — and this is it. They need a rest between orgasms.
But no matter how you look at it, or which way you choose to pursue these “happy convulsions and explosions”, we women experience an intensity and temporary altered state that men will never come close to feeling.
PS: Other writers have included other types of female orgasm such as anal orgasm, urethral orgasm and more. Those are a little more difficult to agree on and better left for a more advanced topic!
Who doesn’t want to improve the odds of having an orgasm or making it a great orgasm? Especially with very little work involved. All you need to do is kegel exercises.
Kegels? What are Kegels?
Just like everything else in your body, Kegels have a long medical name, the “Pubococcygeus muscle“, or to be short, “PC Muscle”.
The kegels are located in your pelvis, stretched from the pubic bone all the way to your tail bone. I showed my daughter this on a diagram of the human body, and she reduced it to looking like a “hammock”. I appreciated that simplicity.
Men and women both have PC muscles, because we need them to control our bladder when we pee. Men refer to it as their “pee muscle”.
During intercourse, your male partner will likely feel your kegels when you have that great orgasm, because your kegels squeeze involuntarily at that point.
Since the kegels are muscles, they can be exercised. Which means, the more often you perform kegel exercises, the stronger the kegel muscles are, the better change to improve your already great orgasm!
Your partner will notice a stronger kegel and you will notice a feeling of being “fuller” when your partner is inside of you. If you have had children, you may realize that your vagina has changed. Kegel exercises will tighten up the vagina and put your on track to that great orgasm!
Although none of us want to talk “leakage”, kegel exercises will prevent the development of incontinence, and keep us one day further from depends.
The Kegel Exercises: Do I need to go to the gym?
Strange as it sounds, kegel exercises can be performed anywhere; the movies, the gym, the boring PTO meeting. But to begin exercising your kegels, you need to locate them.
Like my daughter says, sometimes the more simple you make something, the easier it is to understand, so we are back to peeing! The next time you are sitting on the toilet urinating, “squeeze” and hold your vagina muscles.
Two things should happen: your flow or stream should stop, and you should feel your anus clench. Release the “squeeze” and your urine flow should start again. Repeat this process to make yourself more familiar with how it feels.
The muscle that you are using to stop your pee in mid stream, is the kegel muscle. Squeezing and releasing the muscle is the basis of kegel exercises.
Here are a few exercises I like to do.
First: Slowly begin squeezing, until you you see your urine stream slowing down in volume, until it stops. Hold for 2-3 seconds, then release the flow at the same speed as you stopped the flow. Releasing at slow speed is more difficult than squeezing!
Second: Squeeze quickly and force your stream to stop and start over and over. You may not have noticed, but this is the same motion that your body experiences during a great orgasm.
You do not need to be on the toilet to perform kegel exercises. I suggest people to start on the toilet because of the “live feedback” of seeing your urine stream stop and start.
However, the exercises work even if you are not peeing. Once you understand the basis of the action, you can do them anywhere. I often do them at red-lights when I am waiting for the light to change. Well, it is better than texting, right?
It is also (pleasantly) possible to exercise your kegels during masturbation. Insert your finger into your vagina and perform your exercises. This will allow you to feel the contractions and tightness from a different perspective.
Try to squeeze and hold for longer periods of time. Then release and do short bursts of squeezing and releasing.
If you want to increase the different kegel exercises you can do, consider buying exercise balls — most commonly known as “Ben Wa” balls. They have been around so long, that there is no known year when they were developed!
You insert the Ben Wa balls into your vagina and do your normal squeezing and releasing kegel exercises. Think of them as hand weights at the gym! Keep them in while you vacuum, or cook dinner.
The greatest facts about kegel exercises is that 1) you can do them anytime and anywhere; 2) no one knows you are doing them; and 3) the potential benefit of improving your orgasm is worth every second.
There is no reason NOT to do kegel exercises with all the benefits! A great orgasm is enough to encourage me to do many things.
LoveWorks offers many different types of Ben Wa Balls, and we always have them in stock because of the volume we sell! That is the first question you should ask your best friends the next time you are on a girl’s night out: “Do you have a set of Ben Wa Balls?”
Also remember that the balls are like any other insertable item, they need to be cleaned after use, and stored in a clean, dry place. Before using them, inspect them to make sure there are no nicks or cuts, and that they do not have any threads or clothing fibers from where you hid them in the sock drawer.
Sigmund Freud coined the term “Penis Envy” originally to refer to girl’s realization that they did not have a penis. The interesting sub-text of the Freud theory was that all females secretly wished they had a penis.
It really is a strange question isn’t it?
penis envy
An aspect of Sigmund Freud’s developmental theory. [The Freud theory hypothecized] that during development girls had to switch from having the mother as the love object to having the father as the love object: and also switch from the clitoris to the vagina as the main genital zone. At about the age of four, Freud believed that girls first discovered they lacked a penis. The girl will blame her mother or the lack of a penis and the consequent hurt to her own self-esteem. This causes the girl to give up clitoral sexuality, and turn to the father as love object. This aspect of Freud’s theory has received a great deal of criticism, particularly from feminist psychoanalysts. She has penis envy.
From my friends at the Urbandictionary:
Whether the Freud theory is true is certainly questionable. Just like when I think of the guys I have been close to and had sexual discussions with. I would ask if they were envious of my vagina. And the answer was ALWAYS “Yes”.
They told me that they were envious of the power that they perceived the vagina to hold; and they were also envious of the sexual potentials of the vagina – such as having multiple orgasms; and never having to be worry about a lack of erections!
The phrase “penis envy” has changed over those (many) years that Freud coined it. It is more commonly used to describe a person who feels “less than” or “lacking something” when compared to another person.
It no longer is restricted to actually having or being envious of another penis-equipped man. In close circles, women often use the phrase to indicate jealousy over another woman. It became a “slang” phrase that could be used and understood.
Again, from Urbandictionary
Penis envy
When one person is some how perceived to be better by comparison. It may be driven by envy or true admiration.
Her work is so good I think I have penis envy!!
As a female, I can only ask about the “relationship” men have with their penises. And it a very amazing relationship. I never realized how a man’s identity is so caught up in his equipment.
But as an academic, I should have realized it, as every society known to man has worshipped or symbolized the penis in some form of worship forever. And the penises were worshipped for different reasons – from fertility to masculinity.
So it stands to reason that if a man does not feel his penis, his stamina, or his erection-power is up to socially acceptable standards, he can feel substantially slighted and subsequently, less a man.
It is not just porn that allows men to see other men’s penises. Gym locker rooms, or community showers at school give glimpses into how much equipment the other guy’s are packing.
At least when they do see erect penises in porn, they have something to compare to. Flaccid penises in the locker room are a poor choice to make comparisons. Do you remember the old adage, “Are you a grower or a show-er [sic]”?
Performance – the ability to generate rock hard erections on command and keep them has become the financial success of a few companies like Pfizer. All men want the erections of their teens, but doesn’t always happen in real life.
Men age. The penis ages. And in most cases, it takes longer to gain the erection and is often less “tumescent”. [I used that word meaning “swollen” as a reminder to my editor that I can use big words when I want to!]
But as a female, I will never experience the felling of not being able to get hard. I will never experience the excitement and desire of the raging hormones driving me to have penetrative sex with someone, only to have my penis unwilling to stand up and perform. That I understand is a devastating experience, but thankfully, one I will never feel first hand.
Penis Envy in men is not something that is easily “cured”. There are some products that will help with some of the underlying issues, and those are the first possible solutions to pursue.
Viagra and Cialis type prescription medications are one method of addressing the difficulties of not getting as hard. These are prescription-only medications that require a doctor’s visit. Many men are unwilling to visit a doctor and admit that they are having erection difficulties.
For those men, there are over the counter herbal pills such as Rhino and Dragon. Rhino is the number one selling herbal sexual enhancement product on the market. It is also one of the most counterfeited pills. Chances are, if you buy it at a convenience store — it is not the real Rhino.
Products such as Rhino are designed to stimulate blood flow, and allow more blood to flow the to penis. It works virtually the same as the prescription products, but does not require a visit to the doctor.
Penis Pumps are good products to assist in obtaining a firm erection. Pumps use suction to bring blood into the penis, and “constriction rings” (more commonly known as cock rings) help to keep the blood from leaving the engorged penis. Penis pumps are a legitimate product — there are even medically-prescribed penis pumps available.
When I was learning to give blowjobs (“felatio” to my editor) … wait. I meant that my editor wants me to use words like “felatio” when I write. I didn’t mean to imply that I learned to give HIM blowjobs!
Guys would tell me that a good blowjob consisted of SUCTION and FRICTION. The use of the hand was 50% of the work (the “friction”) and the mouth took care of the other 50% (the “suction”). A good blowjob should be able to turn a flaccid penis into an erect penis because of the suction; the same way a penis pump fills the penis with blood.
And that reminds me of this final point: I had a very short and unconsumated relationship with a guy who was hung like a breeding stalion. I took one look at his package and said “Nope. Not happening.”
We laughed about it that night, and he confided something in me that I never forgot. He said that he had penis envy for guys with smaller penises, because he was turned down for sex quite often because of his large size. It was kind of a reverse of the Freud theory.
I guess the moral is, be thankful for what you have. Or in the alternate, be careful what you wish for!!
UPDATE 11/6/19: We are no longer selling sex enhancement pills online; only in our stores. Sorry for the inconvenience.
Cover Art is from the Book, “Penis Envy: 101 Things To Do If You Think Your Penis Is Too Small” by Ricky Bledsoe, available at Amazon.
Sexual dysfunction is a really serious issue that prevents men from having a healthy sex life. The mental state and emotions play a huge role in one’s abilities in sexual performance. As difficult as it is to read, here are some psychological factors that may lead to sexual dysfunction.
Stress may be the reason for many health problems, so there is no exception when it comes to sexual performance. Problems at work, family issues or a conflict with your partner may be the reason for your stress and it can influence a man’s desire and ability for sexual performance. A tense relationship with your partner makes it difficult to increase your sexual desire so make sure you solve your problems with your partner through communication and find a way to relax before attempting to engage in sexual activities.
Depression and anxiety are mental disorders which are in a way connected and appear due to an imbalance of chemicals in the brain. The chemical imbalance causes feelings of sadness, anxiety, loss of interest in everyday activities, lack of interest in socializing, etc. All of these feelings and mental states reduce the desire for sexual performance so it is required to consult a health care provider.
The feeling of guilt decreases men’s libido. This feeling is common for men who have a religious upbringing, or who were taught during childhood that topics like masturbation or sex are inappropriate. They may see sex as something inappropriate or “dirty” and they may find it difficult to have sex because of these repressive feelings.
Low-self confidence also influences the ability of men to have satisfying sex. They may believe that they are not doing it well, or that their penises cannot make a woman satisfied, or have some unrealistic expectations about their penis. Counseling may help to solve this problem.
A greater self confidence leads to a better sexual performance. Take care of your "peeny". He is your best friend and should be clean and well-groomed for greater confidence and a healthier sex life.
Increase your Sexual Confidence!