I was was young when I saw my first condom; maybe 6th grade. I didn’t understand what they were for, but all my friends were talking about having condoms. I remembered that the local gas station had a condom machine in the bathroom, so when I had extra money, I would buy a few condoms. There were 3 different types of condoms in the machine (but actually, it was nothing more than 3 different brands or packaging). That way if my friends had ONE, I would have a few and that would make me ahead of them. We were too young to be called sluts back them!
I knew it was a “naughty” item but I didn’t understand why or what to do with it. I guess it was a naughty balloon. By the middle of seventh grade, I still had not’t figured out sex, but I knew that I should have these condoms!
It was a few more years before I experienced condom use for the first time. Actually, looking back, I know that my first time sex was without a condom … and I don’t know with whom or when my first condom usage actually was!
But it wasn’t until they were being used on me (I began to demand they be used) that I learned that there were different types of condoms (not like “brands” in the condom machine at the gas station. As an adult and talking with my friends now, I realized that they didn’t know anything when it comes to the history or the types of condoms, or anything about them!
WHO INVENTED THE CONDOM?
The best place to turn for the history of condoms, is that all-knowing Encyclopedia of the Modern World: WikiPedia.
The history is very unclear, but has potential use of different types of condoms, dating back 1500 years! There were even condoms made of linen and LEATHER. So many men already complain about not feeling anything when wearing a condom, I can’t imagine getting a man today to wear a leather condom.
The first condom made of rubber was in 1855. In reading the history, I had to laugh. One of the “selling points” of the rubber condom was their “re-usability”. Yuck! Washing out your condom after each use??? However, all over the world, the word “rubber” became synonymous for “condom” in multiple languages.
Wealthy men would go to the doctor to be measured for custom fitting “head” or glans only condoms. That didn’t last long as the condoms often fell off.
The biggest test was in France when the condoms were used to ward off the syphilis epidemic. And as they say, the rest is history.
THE DIFFERENT TYPES OF CONDOMS (MALE CONDOMS):
There are three main types of condoms: latex (aka rubber), polyurethane (commonly referred to as a type of plastic material) and animal skin / organic materials such as lambskin.
In the 80’s, lambskin had become very popular because guys said it “felt” the best. They were (and still are!) more expensive, which makes me think that this was during that time when people with money were willing to “pay more” because they got a “better” product. The only problem was that many people found them to be more fragile, and they DO NOT protect against disease.
Lambskin, for example, are made from the intestinal membrane of the lamb, and has small “micro-pores” which make it completely ineffective at protecting against STD’s. Unfortunately, Charlie Sheen didn’t know this, and was quite fond of using lambskin condoms even though he was HIV+.
To recap, LAMBSKIN condoms WILL protect against pregnancy. They will not protect against STD’s. The biggest complaints against them is the cost and the smell.
But that leaves two other types of condoms. The Rubber and the Polyurethane. They are both effective in preventing pregnancy and protecting against STD’s.
Latex condoms are the cheapest and most popular. This is typically the “Trojan” condoms everyone knows. Allegedly they are the MOST effective at protecting against STD’s although I don’t think the difference between effectiveness of Latex and Poly is much different. The thinnest types of condoms in the latex category are those made by Sagami.
In contrast, polyurethane condoms are thinner, stronger, and much more expensive than Latex condoms. Trojan makes some, as well as Durex.
The thinnest polyurethane condom however, is made by Sagami, a Japanese firm. It is a very tight, and very thin condom designed to increase sensitivity.
Guy friends tell me that they don’t feel heat transfer as much with Poly condoms as they do with Latex. According to the claims made on the package, guys should feel MORE heat transfer, so I find the real-life experiences to be invaluable.
When talking about the different types of condoms, the discussion of thickness or thinness is always the number one discussion. And there is a company out there that has a documented Guinness World Record for the thinnest condom in the world: And the brand is AONI.
“The Aoni condom measures just 0.0014 inches (0.036 millimeters) thick, beating the previous record-holder, Okamoto of Japan …” This is a LATEX condom, with a thinner material than anything else in the world.
DOES CONDOM SIZE MATTER?:
Yes! But “regular-size” condoms will fit fine for most men. Condoms are supposed to be tight; but if the condom you choose is too tight, it will be uncomfortable to wear. In that case, try the “XL” version of the types of condoms that you prefer.
Condoms can only protect what is covered, so it is important to find a condom that fits correctly. XL condoms are usually longer and slightly bigger around.
Condoms that are too loose might slip off or may not provide enough feeling since there is space between the condom and the penis. In this instance, try the smaller condoms, usually sold as more “snug”, or “slim fit”. Over 1/3 of all adult males should be wearing snug or slim fit condoms.
But did you know that a HUGE (or “yuge” if you are a Trump fan) percentage of teenage boys are having sex and CAN’T wear condoms because standard “snug” or “slim” condoms are still too big? Teen boys are having sex – but we can’t supply a condom for them; or advertise to them. Imagine trying to mount a campaign for smaller condoms for 14-16 year old boys!
“According to the Swiss research [on condom/penis size], a regular condom is too big for one in four youths of that age and can slip off. At that age, the penis is not always fully grown”
CONDOM & LUBRICATION: YOU NEED BOTH!:
Although I am unable to find hard statistics on the internet, based on my experience, most condom users don’t understand the need for additional lubrication. Many condoms show that they are “lubricated” on the package, but that lube is usually as thin as water, and doesn’t provide what is often needed.
So many factors affect the ability of a woman to self-lubricate that a considerate sex partner should always be prepared with lube. Even if she is wet, a good quality lube applied to the condom will make the experience much more enjoyable.
Dep
ending on where you are purchasing your condoms, you should be able to purchase single use “pillow packs” of good sexual lubricants, like Gun Oil, or Astroglide. Almost all adult stores will carry these “pillow packs” or single-use containers. For that reason, you don’t need to carry a bottle of lube … just one very thin pack of lubrication with your condom.
Your partner will appreciate it – and it will show what a thoughtful and considerate person you are!
DON’TS: By the way, I must get this off my chest! As a female, I would PREFER that you had a packaged lubricant to use with me. But if you don’t, and you must use your saliva (or “spit” which I hate that word), then don’t make a big scene with sounds of spitting in your hand. That is so gross. Can’t you get the saliva into your hand without making all those noises! This is NOT a porno.
DON’TS: Never, never, never use baby oil, Vaseline, Crisco, Mazola, or other oils. They will “degrade” (destroy or eat) the latex making them ineffective. And they will often cause infections in the female! You aren’t frying french fries, so stay away from the corn oil!! Those are not products designed for INTERNAL USE!
TWO CONDOMS IS NOT BETTER THAN ONE:
I don’t know anyone who actually would do this (cheaters, perhaps??), but just in case, I’ll repeat myself … 2 condoms is NOT better than 1.
Having two condoms on will generate friction between them and give them the weakness to break.
And as a reminder, ALWAYS use your hand to hold the based on the condom as you withdraw from your partner, to make sure it doesn’t slip off or allow semen to spill out.
YOUR CONDOM IS YOUR FRIEND. TAKE CARE OF IT:
That means do NOT store it in your wallet where you are sitting on it, possibly degrading the condom with heat and unusual pressure.
And finally, it is true – CONDOMS HAVE EXPIRATION DATES. It doesn’t matter what types of condoms you have, there is an expiration date stamped on the package. And yes, it means DO NOT USE IT after the date.
INTERESTING TIDBITS. DID YOU KNOW?:
That different types of condoms have different SHAPES??
STANDARD SIZE CONDOMS usually have straight sides.
FITTED CONDOMS usually get smaller (more narrow) just below the head or glans area, which is also more narrow than standard condoms.
LARGER CONDOMS usually are wider AND longer.
EXTRA STRONG CONDOMS usually have less sensitivity because they are thicker than normal, and are the best choice for anal sex.
TEXTURED CONDOMS with ribs and bumps can increase the sensations for one or both partners. Sometimes the bumps are on the INSIDE of the condom, and are intended to stimulate the male.
FLAVORED CONDOMS are intended for use during felatio because they substitute that standard condom odor with a flavored smell and taste.
LoveWorks sells over 125 different types of condoms from a variety of manufacturers.
If you have any condom questions or any other sex questions, I’ll be happy to answer.
The old saying is true, “knowledge is power”. And understanding more about STDs will help you to be aware of the risk you may have.
FACT: If you are sexually promiscuous, the chances of a std (sexually transmitted disease) or sti (sexually transmitted infection) increase with every sexual escapade and every sexual partner. The difference between the two terms is miniscule — all STD’s start out as STI’s.
Misunderstanding #1: “You can not get an STD from oral sex“.
Unfortunately, FALSE. For many years, it was incorrectly reported that the only way to get an infection from oral sex was to be performing it on a man. Many doctors (mine included), didn’t consider the symptoms as an std if the patient identified as not gay.
It is true that most STD’s don’t like the environment found in the mouth, but it doesn’t mean you are safe. In the past 10 years, there have been more cases documented of MEN getting Gonorrhea from performing cunninglingus on females.
You increase your risk by having open sores in your mouth (from biting your lip, or burning your tongue on pizza). Your risk also increases if you brush your teeth before performing oral sex because the brushes can causes irritation or bleeding of your gums. If you are worried about your breath, GARGLE, don’t brush.
Misunderstanding #2: “Once you have had a STD infection, you can’t catch it again.”
Unfortunately, VERY FALSE. Your body does NOT build a resistance to gonorrhea, Chlamydia, etc., so getting it one time does not protect you. In fact, the truth is the opposite — once you have had a std once, you are much more likely to catch the same one again at a later time. In other words, you weakness doesn’t build up — it decreases. In cases like Herpes, once you have herpes, it is with you for life. HPV (Human papillomavirus) is another lifetime virus — and just like herpes, can remain dormant for years before being visible.
HPV: Most people with HPV do not know they are infected and never develop symptoms or health problems from it. Some people find out they have HPV when they get genital warts. Women may find out they have HPV when they get an abnormal Pap [smear] test result
Misunderstanding #3: “If you have an STD, you will know it. If your partner has an STD, both of you will know it.”
FALSE. The last example of HPV is a perfect example. Other infections might stay with you for many years and you wouldn’t’ know it. Many people are asymptomatic meaning that they can have an STD and not have any symptoms at all. According to reports on the internet, “75% of females and 50% of males exhibit no symptoms” of Chlamydia for example. But even with no symptoms, it can be passed over and over.
And if Chlamydia is passed to another person who is asymptomatic, they begin to pass the infection without knowing. It is a very difficult situation to find yourself in.
Herpes is another example of a deadly fighter. If a person has Herpes, and does not take prophylactic medication to control it, it is possible to be contagious even when NO sores are visible.
Misunderstanding #4: “You can only catch Herpes when your partner is having an outbreak.”
FALSE. I’m discussing Herpes again because I want to shatter another common myth: “Cold sores are not Herpes”. FALSE. If you suffer from cold sores, you are infected with Herpes Simplex 1 (HSV-1). ORAL HERPES. Most infections of ORAL Herpes occurs during childhood and stays with you for life.
A person infected with HSV-1 (“cold sores“) that performs oral sex on a partner, can pass the herpes virus on to the partner as GENITAL HERPES (HSV-2). The person with HSV-2 will eventually have blisters around the genitals (similar to what cold sores of the mouth look like).
The World Heath Organization reports that a person can be infected with HSV-1 and HSV-2 at the same time. However, I have always read reports that contradict that and state that once you get either HSV-1 or HSV-2, you will generally not be infected with the other.
In other words, if you have ORAL HERPES (“cold sores”) and perform oral sex on a partner, they can get GENITAL HERPES.
If a person with HSV-1 (“cold sores”) has sexual contact with a person infected with GENITAL HERPES, there is very little chance of additional infection.
And finally, persons who have either herpes virus AND take prophylactic medicine to control the outbreaks will most likely not have outbreaks and due to the medicine, and generally will not be contagious.
Misunderstanding #5: “Only people with multiple sex partners get STD’s.”
FALSE. It is not that easy to blame it on multiple sex partners. Oral herpes is a good example of an infection that does not need to pass through sexual activities. Even with limited partners, a STD can rear its head years later.
STD’s are not limited to “those kind of people”, as has been incorrectly reported on the web. STD’s are an equal opportunity offender — gay, straight, bisexual, asexual, male, female, transgender, old, or young.
Misunderstanding #6: “The birth control pill prevents STD’s.”
FALSE. The birth control pill prevents pregnancy. It has NO effect at all upon infections of any kind.
Misunderstanding #7: “A condom prevents all STD’s.”
FALSE. I have already explained how STD’s can pass through oral sex. And herpes passes through skin-to-skin contact, not necessarily intercourse or oral sex. And there are MANY documented cases now of Gonorrhea passing through oral sex to men and women.
Misunderstanding #8: “An STD will go away on its own.”
FALSE. Many STD’s are curable – but they will not go away on their own.
Misunderstanding #9: “All STD infections are the same regardless of where in the world you caught them.”
FALSE. The particular strain of an STD infection that you have may or may not respond to the medicine your doctor has prescribed. Your doctor would need to know if you traveled outside of the USA in order to prescribe the correct medicine. Otherwise, you might take a week’s worth of medicine only to find out that your infection did not go away because it was treated with the wrong medication.
Misunderstanding #10: “Only older people having lots of sex and partners get STD infections.”
FALSE. Young people are MORE susceptible to being infected, because their partners are not likely to discuss their sexual history with healthcare providers, meaning their STD status won’t get diagnosed, and they would continue to spread the infection around. The World Health Organization (WHO) also states that young women’s bodies are biologically more susceptible to STDs.
Misunderstanding #11: “If I had sex in a hot tub, or pool, the chlorine will protect me from getting a STD.”
FALSE. The only thing chlorine might do is to degrade or break down the condom, making it worthless as protection for STD’s and pregnancy. It doesn’t matter where or how you have sex, there is no magic wand to prevent yourself from getting infected with a std.
And finally,
Misunderstanding #12: “I can’t get an STD or HIV if I only sleep with virgins.”
FALSE. Technically, a “virgin” is a person who has not experienced penetrative sexual intercourse. But it does not say anything about their oral sex, or anal sex activities. Just kissing and fondling opens you up to the possibility of an std.
Although I hate the word “Frottage”, I should include it here. Frottage is defined as “dry humping, or any other no-penetration body grinding done with or without clothes in public or in private”. Dry humping with clothes on is considered safe because there is no skin-to-skin. But if other factors are added, such as one partner slipping their hands into the underwear of the other, skin-to-skin contact occurs, and both are at risk.
FROM THE EDITOR: Hi, my name is Christianne, and I was supposed to begin writing and answering sex questions for LoveWorks Magazine in the middle of last year. Writing is a hobby, and is one way I like to relax.
However, I have a very-good full-time job that pays my bills and takes care of my family and is exceptionally rewarding! And unfortunately, my bosses have kept me very busy. I hope to find the time now to write on a regular basis. If you have any sexual questions you would like answered, send them to me!
Although pleasure is understandably the easier answer to give as to why we go solo, there is a lot more to benefit from the act of masturbation than we were ever told.
Having a mastery of your spots and areas can be very healthy, mentally and physically. It can also improve your relationships and overall well being.
Getting freaky alone is what makes us feel good by relieving sexual tension. It also eliminates the worries of unwanted pregnancy and risk of Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs). No worries about broken condoms or ineffective contraceptives or its usage, are additional benefits of doing it alone.
It also serves well when you are not ready to go into a relationship, or still at the ‘talking stage’ of a new one.
Self-strokers reported that solo play is an effective way to relieve stress. The “self-pleasure report”, a research done in 2019 by an adult toy company, asked people to rate fourteen (14) different activities according to how effectively they help to alleviate stress.
The result showed that masturbation came second while sex was rated number one and sleep came along as number three. Blogging or “journaling” was last. That’s right, Dear diary!
It has been discovered that in general, frequent orgasms reduce blood pressure levels greatly. By going on frequent solo plays, we are more likely to discover our domains and spots. This renders a better understanding of our needs and we are more confident communicating it to our partner during sex. This will, in turn, boost our relationships and sex life.
Masturbation benefits for mental health
Getting freaky with oneself has some real mental benefits as well.
According to renowned sexologist, Megan Andelloux, “Masturbation can be a self-soothing behaviour that calms down our minds […] gets us in touch with our bodies, and gives us time to focus on ourselves instead of worrying about what others think”.
She mentioned that at some point growing up, some people were shamed or rebuked when seen masturbating. If they grow up thinking that masturbation is unhealthy, then later along the line, they wouldn’t be comfortable having those discussions with their kids.
The cultural uneasiness associated with the topic of self-pleasing is further magnified by some nonsense myths. We’d be shaking pretty hairy hands if masturbation did result in hairy palms or stunted growth. And rest-assured you really can’t overdo yourself either.
According to Andelloux, truly, going solo is safe provided it doesn’t disturb one’s relationships or regular daily life, and also you don’t get chafed seriously. Not only is it safe, but it’s also good.
If you are still unsure as to whether or not you should be the life of your party, the way to find out is to get closer to the pole. #wink
Dancing with yourself
With these seven steps for solo-play, you might want to get to the action
Set aside quality personal time
Anytime is a good time to make oneself feel good, so you don’t want to get stuck trying to find the ‘right time’. You just need to be sure you are not going to be distracted or rushed. For example, you wouldn’t want a friend or roommate interrupting. It’s a one-man parade.
Select a space for your solo romp
Privacy is a major consideration is choosing a place. Your comfort can also be an additive, you might want to take matters into your own hands in a bathroom (although that is frowned upon in some places so it’s not a good idea).
We are left with our beds and abundant pillows or in steamy bathtubs or shower. Point is the right environment will ease your mind into perfect headspace needed for self-play.
The Me-time mood sets
Good tunes, scented candles, dim lights, beautiful colors- whatever you need to put out distraction, put you in the right frame and bring you into the moment. Make effort to provide a loathing free atmosphere.
Absorb some sexy time media
Porn or erotica of any kind can help put you in the right mood or turn things on. You must note that they’re not a necessity for a pleasing experience. Yet, because of the imagination they arouse in our minds, they can be as potent as a stimulant.
Take off your clothes
You don’t need sexy lingerie to turn yourself on. For the most part, if you have any difficulty masturbating, you might need to get comfortable with your body for a start.
Take your time to admire and appreciate your body in its total nudity. If you happen to feel insecure about your own body, try to fixate your mind on the features you admire most on your body. Else you might opt to focus your mind on the things your body can do that you enjoy. Hint: your body provides you with pleasure.
Yes, Touch yourself
Don’t be biased, start exploring your body like a novice. Do it with ignorance. Try to find out what pleases you (not just one thing!) – alter the pressure as you like, the rate of your strokes, grabbing when necessary etc. while relishing the sensations you feel.
Don’t fixate on orgasm
It’s pointless to pressure yourself to reach orgasm when there is plenty of benefits health-wise to reap just from arousing your spots. Fixating on orgasm will make you ignore the many pleasures along the way and may have you feeling bad after you orgasm. So why worry about the end when the goal is on the way?
Takeaway
While there is variation from person to person, and there is no wrong or right way to do it, what is required is that you find out what works for you and enjoy it as much as you can. Well, one thing you can be sure of is self-pleasuring masturbation is safe.
Also, it is good for us, physically, mentally and overall well being. There is no need to be ashamed of giving yourself some “me-time”.
The smart unhooking of the bra, the ruffling of hair, the dress tugging and hot kissing, the passion; these are what sex dreams are made of. We’ve all found ourselves drowning in the passion before only to wake up from our sex dreams and ponder. Ponder no more friend, we have the explanation you seek.
Chances are you’ve had a dream where your loved one is cheating on your and it hurt so bad you woke with murder on your mind. But before you strangle him/her with that pillow, having a dream about cheating rarely means that it is true. This is often as a result of feelings of emotional abandonment, according to Gillian Holloway, a dream analyst. For instance, say your partner starts to work longer than usual, you’d start to feel you are being cheated out of, in this case, time. Phew! Drop the pillow…
A best friend, your assistant, the delivery man, the weird next apartment neighbour, a relative? Very awkward! If you find yourself dreaming about sex with someone you’d never have thought of in that way before, it doesn’t mean that you have deep sexual desires to have sex with them. Having dreams with people you’d never have thought of in that way before means that you admire a quality in them that you’d rather have in you, according to Patricia Garfield, dream analyst.
Dreaming of sex with an ex usually feels very awkward especially if you have moved on and you are now with a new partner. You don’t need to feel guilty and call your new partner for a confession if you have these dreams. Sex dreams about yourself usually result from thoughts of comparison you have about your new partner, weighing up the pros and cons, to see if you moved on to better. If you’ve not moved on yet, not in a new relationship, then, chances are you have unsettled business with your ex.
Intimacy with same-sex is more common with the women although heterosexual men also experience it. The women face this more than men due to the need for sensitivity. The women are connected with catering, getting intimate with a female in a dream indicates your need to be cared for and your need for someone to be sensitive about your feelings. When gay men have dreams about sleeping with females, it’s because of same desire for female sensitivity.
It’s very common to make out with a faceless lover. No matter how much we try, we can’t remember of place it. Who is this mysterious lover? This is a question that troubles us, and one we may never come to answer, but we will like to know why they’ve come, what the dreams mean. Sex with our mysterious mostly hot lover, according to Ian Wallace, dream psychologist, means that the universe is urging us to unveil our hidden talents. Interesting, yeah? Poet? Undercover detective? Artist? Secret powers?
Yes, I know how weird it sounds, and that is part of why I am writing. Obviously, no one knows I am wearing butt plugs except me, but it bothers me mentally sometimes because I have always felt butt toys with men meant you were gay (or bi). I am not though; I am 100% straight.
I have read up on the male prostate being sorta equivalent to the women’s g-spot, and that does make sense about my interest in having a plug in my ass. I don’t enjoy the regular triangle shaped butt plugs; the only thing I like are the prostate toys that are supposed to apply pressure to the prostate.
Every so often I wonder what other people would think if they knew; but I think everyone goes through that when it comes to their sexual interests and activities. Those are the things we are supposed to keep private anyway right?
Over the last few years, I have bought and tried different butt plugs, or actually prostate toys. I find that since they are all designed different, some thicker, some thinner, some harder, some softer, it took me some time to figure out which ones sends me into prostate heaven. And since someone will wonder, prostate heaven is when you are squeezing your muscle that stops you from peeing, and you can feel the toy shift against your prostate, and liquid leaks from your penis.
I’m not stupid, I don’t wear the butt plugs all the time; I don’t wear it to work, or when I am going through security at the airport. But when I need to run to the corner store, I’ll leave it in. It excites me knowing it is there — maybe that is my naughty side; of course if the people in the store knew, they would think I was a fucking pervert!
Should I worry? Is there a hidden danger to my sex fun?
Paul
Christianne Responds:
Hi Paul
Hidden danger? No, I can’t see any. Personally I wouldn’t want the risk of having butt plugs or any toy in my ass and getting in a car accident. The thought of internal damage from an impact would scare me to death; and the embarrassment of having to explain to the ER what it was would not be worth the pleasure I would get out of wearing in public.
As a women, I don’t have a prostate the same as a man, so I can’t relate to the same feelings. But search the internet, and you will find that prostate toys have become so common among me.
Actually, you will also find that anal play overall, has become very common. Even pegging, in which a woman uses a strap-on to penetrate her male partner’s ass has gained so much popularity, adult stores dedicate more space to pegging related videos, and (smaller) anal toys. Men are learning to enjoy being on the receiving end of anal play.
Anal play doesn’t have anything to do with sexual preferences, so don’t ever let that bother you. It is nothing more than another way to provide pleasure to ourselves.
Of course, I wouldn’t be doing the readers any favors if I don’t mention lube. You need a good quality lube with any type of butt play. If the toy you are using is silicone, do NOT use a silicone lubricant, as it will degrade the toy’s exterior. If it is not a silicone based toy, the choose a good silicone lube.
Water based lubes (and some of the new hybrids) are your best choice for anal play. You can read more about choosing lubes for anal here.
If you want to know more, search “prostate massagers” or “prostate toys“.
Thanks for the comments Paul.
Dear Christianne:
I am not writing for advice. I am writing because I want to share with the world what was done to me at my wedding by my future husband.. I don’t wish this on anyone, and I’m sure there are others with worse stories, but here is mine.
On my wedding day, no one (including me) had seen or heard from my future husband. He wasn’t answer my calls or my messages. I also tried to call and text his friends (the groomsmen) but they weren’t answering or replying to my texts either. Everyone at the wedding was getting worried, as we all began to think the worst possible thoughts.
It never crossed my mind that I was being stood up. I was positive that couldn’t happen. So my only thought was that all of them (they were in one car) had been involved in a car wreck and must be hurt, otherwise someone would have called.
Finally, all of the groomsmen and my future husband all arrive at the wedding. They tell me that the car broke down, and blah-blah-blah. I was too happy that my man was ok and not in a hospital somewhere, I didn’t think to ask why they couldn’t answer their phones while the car was stopped. I wouldn’t think of this till much later.
We immediately began the wedding, and everyone was so happy, including me. The wedding was wonderful and so was the short duration of the marriage.
It may not have ever come out, except that one of the people who knew all the details, assumed that the person they were talking to — ALSO knew all the details. The one doing the talking made jokes and comments about what happened before the wedding to the brother of my future husband (well, now EX-husband). The guy assumed that my husband’s brother would have known everything. He was wrong and those loose lips started a chain reaction that could not be stopped.
My husband’s brother came to me first to tell me the story; then went and told all of the family. He asked me if it would be ok if he let everyone in on the truth and I agreed, because I knew I would be leaving the son of a bitch as soon as I could get the papers drawn up.
The story: On the day of my wedding, my husband had his friends who were all the groomsmen in our wedding, drive him to the house of the women he was cheating with. They all stayed in the car, while my NOW-EX husband went inside and had SEX with the whore who knew he was on his way to get married. The groomsmen wouldn’t answer their phones because they didn’t want to lie to me because they didn’t have a story worked out yet.
Yes I divorced him. And yes, I know most men do cheat. But it is one thing to cheat with a one-night stand that means nothing to you … and a completely different thing to cheat with your other girlfriend JUST BEFORE YOUR WEDDING.
What kind of man does that? He is still with his other women, and if there is any justice in the world, karma will bring it to both of them. He did this to me; what will he do to her?
This was an emotional nightmare, but I survived. I met another man recently that I hope will turn into a long-term relationship, so just saying that helps me to realize that I have recovered.
Thanks for letting me tell my story. My advice to all sisters – don’t be naive. Pay attention to what is going on around you. I would have seen the warning signs if I had paid attention.
Christianne Replies:
Hi, you didn’t include your name, so I don’t know what to call you. The story of your future husband having sex while you were waiting to get married rates as one of the of cringey stories I have read in a long time.
I really feel for you and I am glad you came through this. You didn’t write for advice, so I wouldn’t try to give any. Divorce was the right choice; and I am glad you realized it immediately. That action likely cut down on years of suffering and being “beat down” by his actions.
Out of fairness to the guys reading this, I am not bashing men here. Although we don’t usually hear the stories, things like this happen — to both men and women. There are good and bad women; there are good and bad men.
Good luck to you in your second chance!
(I held off on posting this until the first of January 2020, because I want this to be part of the “out with the bad” and the encouragement we all need to do better. Lets use the year 2020 as a chance to do better; to see better – that was a joke).
WHY DO I FEEL PAIN DURING SEX?
Something Common but not commonly discussed!
Pain during sex or dyspareunia is something that almost 75% of women go through at some point in their life. For many women, this pain is roughly once or twice in their lifetime, but for some time, it lasts more than just once and twice. Some of the women even report that it is so painful that they also stop being intimate with their partners.
Widespread thinking that many of the women go through is taking the pain as a normal phenomenon or even thinking that it is untreatable, which is why many women leave it untreated and accept it to be as normal.
Every woman should be aware of the fact that chronic, intense pain during sex is something that is not normal, and a doctor should be consulted in order to identify the root cause so that the painful experience could be turned into a pleasurable one.
Why does it happen?
Several clinical conditions are considered to be the possible cause of painful sex.
Silence is not an option
If you are experiencing pain during sex and the pain is so severe that you are thinking of avoiding having sex altogether, then it is the time that you see a doctor or, more specifically, a gynecologist. Many women are hesitant to talk about these issues even with their family or friends or even with their partners and often end up bearing the pain or silence or avoiding the act altogether, it is, therefore, essential for you to know that you are not alone in this and the condition is actually treatable by the use of medications or remedies.
Something Common but not commonly discussed!
Pain during sex or dyspareunia is something that almost 75% of women go through at some point in their life. For many women, this pain is roughly once or twice in their lifetime, but for some time, it lasts more than just once and twice. Some of the women even report that it is so painful that they also stop being intimate with their partners.
Widespread thinking that many of the women go through is taking the pain as a normal phenomenon or even thinking that it is untreatable, which is why many women leave it untreated and accept it to be as normal.
Every woman should be aware of the fact that chronic, intense pain during sex is something that is not normal, and a doctor should be consulted in order to identify the root cause so that the painful experience could be turned into a pleasurable one.
Why does it happen?
Several clinical conditions are considered to be the possible cause of painful sex.
Silence is not an option
If you are experiencing pain during sex and the pain is so severe that you are thinking of avoiding having sex altogether, then it is the time that you see a doctor or, more specifically, a gynecologist. Many women are hesitant to talk about these issues even with their family or friends or even with their partners and often end up bearing the pain or silence or avoiding the act altogether, it is, therefore, essential for you to know that you are not alone in this and the condition is actually treatable by the use of medications or remedies.
As a writer and sexual wellness educator, I am presented with writing topics that I usually know about and have written similar articles about before. Today's assignment from LoveWorks Magazine was different. I had never researched "dry penis skin" and never imagined that it could have serious implications. That is a major part of why I choose to write about sexual wellness — because it is so easy to learn something new every day. I certainly did!
Dry Penis Skin – Causes And Treatment
The dryness of the skin of the penis can trigger alarms in a man's mind, forcing him to worry about contracting a sexually transmitted disease or other diseases which may be difficult to treat. However, a number of other conditions, ranging from mild irritations to chronic health problems can cause the penis to become flaky, rough and dry. This is more uncommon than you realize — but it does happen and men should be aware.
Dry Penis Skin – How Serious Can This Be?
Dry penis skin that does not respond to normal treatment with moisturizers may be a warning sign of an underlying health condition such as diabetes. Men with type 2 diabetes are prone to secondary skin infections such as candidiasis, which can cause the onset of dry skin tissue as well as itching, burning and thick-whitish discharge. Overweight men are particularly at risk for this auto-immune disease, but those unfortunate guys having recurrent skin infections should consider getting tested for insulin resistance.
Sexually transmitted diseases
Dry skin can also be a symptom of several sexually transmitted diseases, such as herpes or gonorrhea. Men who are sexually active and experiencing unusual signs such as the skin of the penis coming off should refrain from having sex until they can see a doctor for testing.
Peeling
Peeling of the skin on the penis, especially around the head, may be the result of a bacterial infection known as balanitis. This common disease usually affects men who are circumcised and may present as redness, itching, inflammation, burning and a thickened flow, as well as a dry and flaky appearance.
Allergic Reaction
This is a condition in which the skin explodes into an allergic reaction. Symptoms may include swelling, redness and dryness, with scaling or dry skin tissue. Allergic skin reactions can be linked to other diseases such as asthma or seasonal allergies. Contact with irritants and chemicals can also lead to irritation and dryness, then for men with sensitive skin, it is a good idea to choose natural products for personal care fragrance free. Also, if you or the person responsible for cleaning your laundry has changed soap products recently, you should consider changing back to the original product to see if the irritations and problems subside.
Phimosis
This is a medical condition in which the foreskin on a man's penis is so strong that it can not be pulled back over the head, or glands. Attempting to stretch the skin can cause pain, irritation, and a cracked or dry look. Phimosis is sometimes associated with balanitis. It can occur in younger children as well as adult men, and can be treated by stretching the sheath gently over time, using a suitable moisturizer, or by means of circumcision.
In some cases, men will visit a doctor who will (under general numbing of the area) make a very small slide in the foreskin so that it has more room to slide over the head of the penis. Studies have shown that men with this problem experience very poor sex, but most will not visit a doctor due to the embarrassment of the problem. According to one study from Thailand, this problem occurs most often in smaller endowed men.
Treatment for dry penis skin
Avoiding dryness calls for proper penis care and good personal hygiene. Wash regularly and allowing the area to dry completely before dressing, can help reduce the risk of bacteria and yeast; the use of a specific penis moisturizer containing natural emollients and other penis-friendly ingredients can help the skin maintain its natural lubricating properties and ensure soft and flexible tissue that responds to Tactile stimulation.
Lube is designed to stop chafing and reduce friction during physical activity. When it's not overly manipulated, you're left with silky smooth,
moisturized skin.
Yes, good quality silicone lubes can help with this problem. They can make sex more comfortable, and provide the moisturizing factor that dry penis skin requires to become soft and supple. Sex Lubes aren't just for sex anymore! It's true.
Sliquid Silver has a very high concentration of silicone in its composition, and is penis friendly, making it a great choice for penis moisturizing as well as a wonderful lubricant for sex.
Buying a silicone lube is a win-win proposition. It provides a great sex lube; and even if you choose not to use it as a moisturizer, you will obtain some of the moisturizing properties each time you use it for intercourse. Give it a shot and get rid of dry penis skin so that you will enjoy sex more!
If you would like to learn more about other lubes, click here to browse our lube reviews.
As women, we all cherish being treated with tokens of affection or kindness by men we are attracted to or in love with. Although, we don’t like being touched the same way or same place often as we might grow tired of it or it may bore us.
Rather, we love being caressed in amazing and unexpected ways that would cause an incredible tingling sensation to erupt or build up in our body. Apart from being touched in our sensitive areas, there are other parts in our body we can tell our partners we’d like to be touched; -Let me make this clear, every part in our body is sensitive as long as we are with the one our heart longs for. The bare essential ingredient that a woman needs to feel for a guy, before she would be touched by him is attraction.
If we are attracted to our partner and we are being kissed by them, we’d like to be touched on our THIGHS. Slowly and gently, he can run his hands from your knees up to her thighs and caress and grope us as they get close to the vagina. Our lips and mouth are also sensitive to touch. We can make our partner ran his fingers across our lips, and once we are attracted to them, it really turns us on.
As women, we all cherish being treated with tokens of affection or kindness by men we are attracted to or in love with. Although, we don’t like being touched the same way or same place often as we might grow tired of it or it may bore us.
Rather, we love being caressed in amazing and unexpected ways that would cause an incredible tingling sensation to erupt or build up in our body. Apart from being touched in our sensitive areas, there are other parts in our body we can tell our partners we’d like to be touched; -Let me make this clear, every part in our body is sensitive as long as we are with the one our heart longs for. The bare essential ingredient that a woman needs to feel for a guy, before she would be touched by him is attraction.
If we are attracted to our partner and we are being kissed by them, we’d like to be touched on our THIGHS. Slowly and gently, he can run his hands from your knees up to her thighs and caress and grope us as they get close to the vagina. Our lips and mouth are also sensitive to touch. We can make our partner ran his fingers across our lips, and once we are attracted to them, it really turns us on.
In 2015, Playboy surprised the world by stating that there would not be any more nudity in the printed magazine. Nude Playboy was gone! In an attempt to save the empire, Hugh Hefner realized that his business needed to change if he wanted to continue to make it grow. Quickly local headlines announced “Playboy Goes Prude”. Removing the nudity was what Hefner felt would bring the magazine more mainstream.
Playboy was trying to get more advertisers to finance the entire business, and get more distribution locations that previously would not sell adult magazines. “Playboy goes Prude” was hailed as a feminist win, and overnight, the nude Playboy was history.
But it wasn’t about feminism at all. Hefner was trying to repeat what he had done in 1953 – to surprise the world with something pioneer. And that “new” idea was to have Playboy without nudes. When you considered that they were only after advertisers and distribution locations, Hefner’s “Playboy goes Prude” idea sounded like a winner.
The fact was, Playboy was more than simple “nudity”. Many of us remember the expression "I read it for the articles"! And over the years, Playboy discovered that they possessed a huge readership – and those readers really were paying attention to what Playboy writers wrote each month.
When the magazine was created, it had cultured, literate men as a target audience. And they just happened to like nude women mixed in with their sophisticated reading. Nude Playboy was the "go-to" for beautiful women AND cutting-edge news.
If this wasn't true, Playboy would have never been able to interview Steve Jobs or Mike Davis, or feature the work of famous writers like Norman Mailer, Jack Kerouac, and Margaret Atwood.
Besides advertising and distribution, Hefner was trying to replicate the success of the television show “Girls Next Door”, which had a surprisingly large female following. And because of “Girls Next Door”, the brand was attracting a younger, and more female audience – an audience Playboy never had – and an audience that advertisers wanted.
The “Playboy goes Prude” announcement was met with snide remarks and sarcasm throughout. Even non-readers of the magazine didn’t think it could survive without the nude spreads and centerfolds.
It was a fast turnaround. As the naysayers would have it, the days of a nude-free Playboy were limited. In February of 2017, the magazine announced that the “Playboy goes Prude” program was a mistake.
Cooper Hefner, Hugh's son, was the first one to announce the big news on his Twitter account. He said that the old Playboy magazine was outdated but removing the playboy nudes completely had been a mistake. Many loyal Playboy followers always wondered if Cooper Hefner would get involved in the running the company as others in the Hefner family had.
Cooper further stated to the media that “Nudity was never the problem because nudity isn't a problem”, which is a very unique and profound statement. Which when translated, means, "Ok, we messed up".
It's important to remember that Cooper was actually one of the most important voices against the “Playboy Goes Prude” campaign a year ago. At the time, he gave an interview to the Business Insider where he admitted that he was completely against the new policy as he believed the new policy did not make sense. And now, returning to Playboy as its chief creative officer (CCO) last year, he's showing us he was right.
One point in favor of Cooper is the fact that he doesn't seem arrogant. In fact, he even says that "Some aspects of the brand won’t alter, as there have been a number of successful creative and business pivots over the last few years that are worthy of celebration. However, as we close in on our 64th year as an organization, I can assure you certain aspects of our formula will change."
So, what to expect from Playboy this time? Are we going to continue to have playboy nudes or will the nudes disappear again? Only time will tell.
But don’t worry, we can all keep reading Playboy for the articles.
