"OH, No! The Dildo is back!" is the famous line from The Goods.
In 2009, Will Ferrell had a small part in a movie titled "The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard". I remember when the movie came out, and for some reason it didn't interest me. Here I am seven years later writing about a movie that I have never seen. Although after watching the trailers, I'm glad I didn't spend my money to go to the theater for this one.
FROM MTV: I just watched what might be the funniest thing I’ve seen all year — it’s a clip [from the movie The Goods] involving Will Ferrell, an Abe Lincoln costume and various sexual instruments. Is this a Web-only thing on Funny or Die, or is it actually in the movie?
Wow. I never knew that my feelings were so far removed from MTV. There is nothing funny about the clip, in which a friend switches Will's parachute for a bag of sex toys. Whe Will pulls his chute, notihng but sex toys are seen flying around Will, heading to the ground at break neck speed.
I'm only including it because I asked my friends for a list of "sex toys in the news" that they could remember, and The Goods was on their list. It made news, because it was both risque and Ferrell actually mentioned the word "dildo" in the movie as he is falling, hoping the dildo would break his fall!
So my first entry in the historical news about sex toys section is a movie I never watched. How many of YOU actually watched The Goods with Will Ferrell???
While I was searching for something totally unrelated, I saw an image that caught my eye. Of course, most any image about sex toys that I haven’t seen before tends to set off that peripheral radar, and that is what happened yesterday.
The image? The wacky races contests of vibrator races! At first, this had to be a joke. But then I looked at the video up close and noticed that the racing track was nicely painted and appeared to be well constructed. Can this be someone’s weekend hobby? Building vibrator racing tracks and renting to groups and bars planning wacky races for publicity?
As I began to read and search more, I found a half dozen wacky races featuring vibrators. They were in bars; at bike events and rallies; and even on a radio talk show!
Even though they have a lot in common, they are still different. So sit back, and let me share some of these wacky races with you.
First, how do Wacky Vibrator Races work:
A vibrator race track usually consists of a slanted track, with 4-8 racing “channels”. The starting position is elevated higher than the finishing position. The Vibrators are turned on to high-speed, placed in the starting gate — and the gates are then opened for the race to commence.
There are some variances that occur from race-to-race. Some people don’t use dedicated channels, and once the vibe hits another vibe, it usually turns sideways and begins to roll downhill – and that is how they determine the winner.
In other races, women are allowed to blow their vibrators to help them along. The hot air tail wind speeds up the racing process immensely! Who knew “blowing” would speed up the finish?
1. Elvis Duran and the morning show
Secretly I like this one the best because it puts “vibrators” as a feature on the morning show; and then they include all the vibrator racing 
video on their “iheart” website. This is mainstream acceptance of the vibrator at an all time high!
Of course, it is a bunch of guys with a mainly guy mix, so they had to tailor it to their group. This was the “Big Football Game” version of vibrating racing. The winning vibrator was supposed to represent WHO would win the upcoming big football game!
I didn’t find any entries to confirm whether the vibrator was smart enough to really predict the winner, but they had fun — and they had a custom vibrator racing track created and painted just for them. Now that is cool!
Staying with the radio theme and football games, KLAQ did the “Super Bowl 50” version of vibrator races online also.
2. I’m not sure about this one, but I believe it was a company that went around to businesses and held wacky races at customer locations. They used the knock and roll racing format.
3. The most impressive vibrator racing track I could find was at the Urbanna Oyster Festival (in Urbanna, Virginia) in 2010. They named their track, “Dildo Downs” and was an impressive freestyle snowing competition type track. I liked it so much, I made it the first picture you see on this page.
According to the story, there is the main family “Oyster Festival” and then there are some “off-program” adult entertainment. I’m sure you can guess where the “Dildo Downs” vibrator races fit in!
4. What happens in Vegas, doesn’t always stay in Vegas! Especially when you post the videos on the internet!
There is very little information about this “sex toy race” as it is called in the post, except that it involves alcohol and gambling — and of course, the vibrators provide the “sex”. It is a good thing there aren’t more vices!
5. The Vibrator Cup. From a “Hen’s Night” home party type event in England, comes this vibrator race – that was bigger on describing each toy in detail. Unfortunately, no one consulted a vibrator racing engineer, and the race track wasn’t elevated enough to make the race interesting.
6. This was one hard-drinking night at Rattlesnake Jake’s, allegedly a bar in Deerfield Florida. There are more than 6 small videos of the races, as I guess they had so many competitors wanting to “slide in” to the race.
Their track is very unique – looks like it was made of aluminum gutter material — but there is no information about it online.
7. And finally, to show just how cheap desperation is the mother of invention, here is one of the wacky races from a bike fest. Based on what I have seen, I’m sure there were a bunch of other wacky races that even we can’t write about!
They took a sheet of aluminum roofing material (“tin roof”, aluminum sheets) and elevated one side with a key of beer. Like I said, the mother of invention. If it was in Louisiana, they would have called it “cajun ingenuity”.
There are dozens of vibrator races from bike fests on YouTube if you want to see more.
I don’t know anything about this one – but it was the first I found. The caption says we need “dildo Olympics”.
And finally, just in case you want to host wacky vibrator races at your home or store, there is a company that makes … you guessed it … VIBRATOR RACING TRACKS!
I’m thinking of ordering one just for fun.
Looking for vibrators for your next vibrator race?
There is no doubt that water is the most important ingredient, when it comes to the proper function of our body. It is known that magnesium is the secret ingredient of life which leads to more sexual stamina. It does not provide quick results, but it is the missing element in our bodies’ health. The Egyptian population has less cancer disease than the Western culture because of the regular intake of magnesium, because it helps in dealing with tension just like potassium!
Hydration is needed for all organs to work properly and the reproductive organs are included too. When we wake up in the morning, our bodies are a little bit dehydrated. So the first thing in the morning that is needed is a glass or two of water. A Hydrated body leads to better sex performance.
Coffee is considered to be a diuretic, so a glass of water before or after the coffee is a great option in order to stay hydrated.
Doses of caffeine equivalent to the amount normally found in standard servings of tea, coffee and carbonated soft drinks appear to have no diuretic action (wikipedia)
Hangovers can be really unpleasant, especially because your blood pressure is not in the normal levels while you have sex and get rid of the initial booze sweat. It will make you urinate quickly, but to deal with the hangover you need to have 2 glasses of water in the morning.
Speaking of urinating, the more yellow your urine, the more DEHYDRATED you are. Morning urine is usually the slightly yellow, confirming that you need water first thing in the morning. But when you see dark urine in the day time, you should take the warning seriously — you are dehydrated and your body is suffering.
Some herbs are considered to increase the libido and one of them is ginseng which is a sexual stimulant. It may however, upset your stomach – an unpleasant side effect of trying for better sex. Despite being a sexual stimulant, it promotes clarity of thought. You can take it with a ginger pill or with a shot of pepto bismol to avoid the stomach upset. Of course, taking pepto bismol and thinking of sex seems a little strange!
Water and magnesium are the essentials for a good sexual life. If you find it difficult to consume water, try to add
some lemon or cucumber to make flavored water. Flavored water has become a popular new trend, but there is no data to support any claims that people are drinking more water.
Adding water to your daily routine takes practice. It is the same as having to give up something — in this case, you are likely giving up so many cups of coffee or soft drinks, or juice. But the benefits for your body are quite real.
As Southerners, we grow up drinking ice tea by the gallons. Since tea is mostly flavored water, how does it compare to drinking plain water? It is true that drinking tea is better than drinking soft drinks, and yes your body does benefit from the water content — but it also suffers if you are not drinking DECAFFEINATED tea. Otherwise the increased caffeine is not helping your body. Plus, if you are sweetening your tea with sugar, you are consuming more false and un-necessary calories.
Water. Just plain water. From a bottle or a tap. Cold or room temperature. Find a way to enjoy it a and make it a part of your routine for better sexual health.
You try. Try to say “happiness” without making the sound “penis”. I’ll wait. What a great word we use all the time and never thought about the underlying inference. As a guy, I have always associated my penis to happiness anyway, so it wasn’t a total surprise to me.
I was doing some research unrelated to this post, and found so many interesting facts and tidbits, I had to write them down. Of course, it doesn’t really fit into any category; other than a “wow, that is interesting” category — but I felt it was fun enough to include.
And for those of you who get overly sensitive to what you read, take a valium. It is difficult to write “tongue-in-cheek” when you tongue is busy, but I am trying. This post is for fun; designed to get a smile out of you.
A girl once told me, “Don’t take this seriously and fuck everything up“. I try to always remember that advice.
Are you a good lover? I think I am. But did you know that 43 percent of women do NOT orgasm while have sexual relations (thanks, Bill Clinton for that descriptive term) with their partner.
Who is to blame? And what were the conditions? If all the “fake news” of 2018-2019 have taught me anything, it is that I need more details and proof. I need to know what the asked woman; and what activities were included in the survey.
For example: how many women consent to a quickie sexual rendezvous in the early morning or the late night for the benefit of their partner, with no interest or desire of being brought to an orgasm? How many partners provide their partners with intercourse strictly for their partner’s satisfaction? Does that count as part of the percentage of women who do not climax?
What about the partners who can execute oral sex as if it was a 9-course meal? If you are a lover of licking, an hour can go by easy. But how many orgasms will she have during that time?
Shouldn’t we consider the average? She came 14 times during Friday night’s session and begged for a reprieve. The next few mornings, she made sure her partner was satisfied. Doesn’t that average out? Oh, god, I hope you see the humor.
Don’t let me get started on the men who do not experience orgasm or ejaculation. I’m planning an entire post explaining the disease of “anorgasmia”. It is more common than you might imagine and much more devastating. But I digress …
The Kama Sutra lists 30 types of kisses. How many have you tried?
When I read that, I shook my head. I can think of a few, but in general, I thought someone was high when they wrote that. Then I realized they didn’t intend for all kisses to be on the lips. Ohhhhhh. Ok.
Everyone kisses differently. When we meet and begin kissing a new partner, we try to merge our kissing “styles” together to see if we can “meet in the middle”. It doesn’t always work – and partners who can’t get their kissing to work out, will generally not stay together long, because the kiss is a really important sexual aspect of a relationship (be it a short one, or a long one!)
I’m a dominant kisser, although my kisses are soft and extremely sensual. I try to teach my partners to kiss me the way I enjoy. Some partners do change their kissing styles; others do not. I’m always more amazed that people do not really know how to kiss, and will admit to their lack of skill.
For example, the kiss that I do not like (and the most popular kiss) is the “movie-star” kiss, in which both partners have their mouths closed beyond the lips, restricting how much lip is shared with the partner. Don’t believe me? Kiss your partner, forcing your mouth closed. Your partner will not be able to “grasp” very much of your lips with theirs.
Oh, wait. My graphic is of a man and a woman. Don’t freak out. Just imagine it is a representation of a man with a man, or a woman with a woman, or as shown, a man with a woman. Geez. I need so many disclaimers these days.
I also enjoy a gentle tongue kissing; but that does not include Muay Thai Tongue Boxing or using your tongue to locate something you have lost in your partner’s throat. Nor do I like watching two people with their tongue out of their mouth having some type of circular speed test or tongue duel. Yuck.
All I can say is that when you kiss someone that knows how to kiss, you feel it and you know it.
I have told you what I don’t like … let me tell you what I DO LIKE. My favorite kiss (although I didn’t know it had a name until today) is the “Lingering Lip Kiss”. MY definition — it is a slightly open mouth, relaxed lips (!) kiss, that lasts for 10-20 seconds. It is gentle, slow, and demonstrates feeling. It is a sharing kiss, as your lips are together with those of your partner.
Have you ever thought about the way you kiss? Think about partners you have had — specifically the good kissers. What did they do that made their kisses special?
It would be interesting on one hand to write a post about HOW to kiss; on the other hand, I think I would get bored trying to write all the details about each style of kiss!
Thanks for reading. You will never get these two minutes of your time back. But I do hope I made you smile at least once. Feel free to add your comments.
Here are 13 things guys don't want to hear after sex! But I know there are a thousand more. What are your not-so-favorite words you don't want to hear after sex?
Closed Caption for the emotionally impaired
HER: This is the first time I had sex without feeling anything. I think I can consider myself a virgin again.
HER: You gotta go now, next guy is coming in five minutes.
HER: Have you heard about Viagra?
HER: Do you think it is going to be a boy or a girl?
HER: Thank you Lord! Thank you Jesus!
HER: You are so much like your dad when you cum.
HER: You really look like my dad when you cum.
HER: See you in court!
HER: I have had sex with dogs with better breath. No Kidding. I had sex with dogs.
HER: Mommy! Daddy! Come and look, he's so cute!
HER: Two and a half minutes.
HIM: Yes! New Record!!
HER: Next time you suck my cock.
HER: Thank you mother praise!
A few others that didn't make this video, but a lot of guys would agree on:
When you say Nothing After Sex!
You know whats worse than hearing any of the things on that list? Hearing nothing after sex. Silence in the sack is fucking awful. I’m a pretty loquacious dude. And when I watch porn I like a lot of dialogue. Do you need to be as loud as I am? No. But if the only sounds I can here are my floppy balls slapping against you and my own lungs wheezing because I’m out of shape and winded, it doesn’t exactly enhance the mood. Gimme some moans, some groans. The occasional “fuck me!” Just gimme somethin. Otherwise I might as well go home and fuck my fleshlight.
Twenty years ago, women and couples didn’t go into “sexshops”. They generally weren’t clean, were dark, dingy; weren’t female friendly, smelled of smoke, and had dubious “back rooms”. Times have certainly changed!
Today’s sexshops are the complete opposite. Well lit boutiques, located in popular shopping areas, designed with ladies in mind. No more back rooms; no more smoky stores. The sexshops of today have come full circle and are now a proud member of society.
But some customers don’t know what to expect with stores like us, and are often too shy to venture in and see what is on the pleasure market. We all have sex — and love adult toys — so why not pop in for a visit.
Is that you? Are you shy to visit? Here are a few suggestions.
1. Working here is not what you think. We asked Madame Red about working in sexshops and what she tells people who ask about her career choice. “I tell them it is like working at Walmart, but we sell dicks instead. I sold diamonds before working at LoveWorks, so go figure!”
In other words, stop thinking of us as “sexshops”; instead think of it as shopping at any other store in town. You are there to browse and buy, and the clerks are there to help you make a purchase that makes you happy.
Don’t be shy to ask. LoveWorks staff are trained at Sex Toys University and can answer most of your questions. If you happen to stump us, we know to find the answer before you leave the store!
You would be surprised at what we know. We have looked at, packaged and sold every item in the store. We can tell you which sex toys vibrator the hardest; which have the most functions; and which rabbit is the best value for the money.
2. Bring a friend with you. Lady Siren enjoys working with two women shopping together because they play off of each other and the shopping experience turns into an afternoon of laughter.
“I love it when two or more women shop together. Chances are, one of the women will already have some of the toys, and will start pointing out all the toys she has tried, which shocks her friend and sends her into a surprised laughter.”
Even though LoveWorks stores are designed and staffed to not be intimidating, shopping with a friend helps make the browsing experience less awkward.
The only problem is that you might not want your friend to know you just bought that Monster Dildo!
3. Do your research before you come into the store. Lady Siren and Madame Red write about and review toys every week on LoveWorks.com. Read some of those reviews to help you feel more comfortable and know what to ask. We are not here just to “sell you stuff” — we want you to go home happy — and get even happier with your new “relationship enhancer”. “Hahahahah” Lady Siren says, “that is just a fancy word for a sex toy!”
4. Our staff is taught not to ask questions. We tell our customers to let us know if we can help them find anything, and we check on them later to see if they are still ok.
Customers who had no intention of talking about sex and toys when they came in, all-of-a-sudden open up and start telling us more than we need! But that information and openness helps us to direct them to a toy they will enjoy.
5. Lubes are not created equal – and yes, there are more lubes and types than you can imagine.
We write about lubes and the latest lubes that are released from time to time. Lady Siren has a wonderful post about lubes including the yummy JO Gelato Ice Cream Lube line.
In the post, she discusses water-based lubes, silicone lubes, hybrid, and oil lubes; and explains why you might use any one of these different products
.
6. Remember, this is what we do every day. We don’t judge people, otherwise how could we stay in business more than 25+ years! We welcome everyone and try our best to make everyone feel comfortable. Sexshops are meant to be fun!
7. It is difficult to shock one of our staff. I said it is difficult — not impossible. We get phone calls from time to time trying to get us into talking in explicit detail about sex toys, and we teach our staff how to shut the conversation down and direct them into visiting our store.
Some people are great storytellers and nervousness will make them talk more than usual. Because of that, they tend to tell us “too much information” or TMI! But it is ok; rarely have we not heard it all before.
8. Even though we have operated online sexshops since 1998, buying in our stores is still better and more fun.
Our online products are displayed with measurements and good descriptions, but you still can’t get the true feel of a toy’s size, and certainly don’t get a chance to see the power or the different settings that today’s vibrators and sex toys have.
And contrary to the media, size does matter. You might buy online and find out it is MUCH BIGGER than you intended. You would have saved yourself that aggravation if you had visited one of our stores.
But online sexshops are great for our customers who live too far to visit a LoveWorks Adult Store. Plus, we carry more products online than we can in the store. So if you are looking for a very particular specialty item, check out the website first.
9. We want you to laugh. We try to tell people we are a “naughty” store rather than an adult store. Being naughty, implies being risque, and both terms usually end in laughter.
Both Madame Red and Lady Siren both had the same thing to say. “Please, come in and laugh with us. It makes our day!”.
LoveWorks Adult Store in Lake Charles, Louisiana is located at 700 E Prien Lake Rd, across from the McDonalds.
LoveWorks Adult Store in The Woodlands, Texas, is located just north of Houston, north of Exit 73 from I45, the highway to Conroe and Dallas.
LoveWorks Internet Store is located at LOVEWORKS.BIZ
This article is continued from: 5 Tips On How Does A Butt Plug Work
How to prepare for ANAL SEX:
TIP #1: READ what we have to say. You might find your experiences better if you know what is ahead (or behind!).
I am skipping the most important tip: talking with your partner about anal play and making sure each of you understand the “rules, boundaries and limitations” (to quote my friend Caesar Milan).
I am also skipping the second tip on “How to Get Ready for Anal Sex” (which we find that many people in real life skip anyway) — PREPARE for anal play with an anal enema. Our customers tell us they skip this part because they are already into sex and foreplay when they decide to experiment with anal play. But if you really want to do this correctly, a soapy-water enema can help to remove what is in your anal canal. Unfortunately, this is what most people will see on their penis (or their partner’s penis) because when lube mixes with existing … “stuff” … the situation gets messy. The current “polite” word being used is “mud” – as in “After anal sex, I had mud on my condom”.
I am also skipping the condom issue. Yes, “how to prepare for anal sex” includes condoms: you should wear a condom during anal intercourse with any partner. Yes, you should wear a finger cot (“finger condom”) when digitally fingering the anus. Remember, better safe than sorry. [Also, some guys have unusually sensitive Urethras and anal sex without a condom will often result in a trip to the doctor for an infection]. We sell finger condoms (finger cots) online and in our stores, but you can get five times as many for the same price if you purchase them at Albertsons or Kroger.
Ok, so now you understand the different types and levels of anal sex-play, there are a dozen more questions that we answer when we are talking about these toys and How to Prepare for Anal Sex.
How do I get started? Do I use the toy first? Should I start with fingers? How much lube do I use? Should I use silicone or water-based lube? Do I want a thicker lube like KY or a thinner one like Astroglide? What do I do if I can’t relax and it hurts? How long is long enough to wear an anal plug? Is there going to be poo-poo on the toy when I remove it? Should I put a condom on the toy? What is the best position to start — on my stomach, on my knees with my head up, with my head on the pillow or on my back with my legs spread?
And those are just some of the questions we hear. There is no way to address them all in this post, but I will do my best to get the important ones so that you feel you are ready and understand how to prepare for anal sex.
TIP #2: ANAL LUBE: We should start with what I consider to be the most important anal accessory ever — good anal 
lube. There is a product that we sell in the stores that we have nick-named “Anal Morphine”. The lube is called “Anal Glide Extra” and is the best product we have ever had or sold to desensitize the anus. Although not a necessity, having a “Shooter” is a a great accessory for all anal lubes including anal glide.
We explain that the receiving partner should grab each check and spread their ass, while the anal glide is slowly poured and worked into the secret highway, past the first sphincter, and slowly past the second sphincter. There needs to be anal glide lube from the outer edges of the anus to the area all the way at the base of the inside muscles.
A good description is to “wipe it around the asshole then push it in the tunnel”. There is no such thing as using too much anal desensitizer! Many people do tell us however, that they notice a slight burn in the first minute that the lube enters their anal passage. That feeling dissipates quickly and is considered normal.
It takes less than 30 minutes for the numbing effects to be noticed — so do something else during these 30 minutes (foreplay, kissing, etc.). It is not just a desensitizer — it is a lube you can use with your fingers and toys and will help to continue the desensitization making anal play easier to accept and enjoy.
TIP #3: RELAX.
Anal play will hurt more if you do not relax. Deep breaths, the desire to “WANT” to experience anal sex, and a patient, loving, slow moving partner. Information is the key — knowing how to prepare for anal sex will make your first time one that you want to repeat.
A customer wrote: “Come on. When you are trying to have anal sex with your partner for the first
time, it is no different than being with a virgin. And most guys aren’t patient or gentle with virgins either. Part of the problem is that the slower a guy moves, the less friction and stimulation he has and the more likely he will lose his erection. Ask guys about taking the virginity of a girl, and they will tell you they “lost” their erection a few times and wondered why some people rave about taking the virginity of a girl because it was too much work! Anal sex for the first time is the SAME.”
Those comments are quite true and very appreciated. Guys need stimulation to maintain the erection and spending too much time at the entrance without being able to cross the thresh-hold is more than some guys can handle. But if you have prepped your partner’s anus, then there shouldn’t be that much waiting.
A few minutes after applying the desensitizer, slow insert one finger (preferably with a finger cot/finger condom). Work the finger in slowly and allow your partner to adjust. As you feel relaxation, try two fingers. Repeat the process and try for 3 fingers in the anus. Once you have 3 fingers in, your partner should be dilated enough for a cock to make entry.
One of the other big benefits of finger condoms, is that after you have worked to dilate and relax the anus, you can THROW AWAY the condom; you do not need to stop and leave the bed to wash your finger.
We sell quite a few anal toys called “anal dilators” or “anal trainers” and they are very helpful in learning to receive anal intercourse. To use, start with the smaller dilator, lube and insert. Allow to relax, and after a while, remove and insert the next size, working your way to the largest of the dilators.
Remember that the length of the toy takes time to get used to as well as the girth. Go slow, and allow the anus to adjust. THE MOST COMMON complaint about anal sex is the pain associated with insertion. This pain is caused by the anal rings (sphincters) being very tight and not being stretched. Using butt plugs or anal dilators of varying sizes will help. Sleeping with the anal toys in place will also make anal intercourse easier and more relaxed.
TIP #4: POSITIONS
You can try a few different positions for anal intercourse, and some may feel substantially better than others. After a few tries, you will find what you like — and those positions will become your “go-to” anal position.
You can stand, and be bent over, such as bent over the side of your bed, with your upper body laying on top of pillows. You can reach behind you and spread your cheeks, or not.
Or get on the bed, on your knees, with your chest resting on pillows. Others with more experience than me say that this position, with your butt in the air, and legs spread, is one of the easiest to be penetrated. It also allows for access to genital stimulation.
However, in my personal experience, the easiest position to receive anal penetration is to lie flat on your stomach, or on a wedge pillow if you have one. By being flat (or on a wedge pillow), you have NO stress to the muscles as you are not putting pressure on your knees or stomach muscles or anything. This position allows for more relaxation. You can help your partner considerably by spreading your butt cheeks at the time of insertion.
Preferred positions once you have had a few successful encounters, will be on your back with your ankles pushed back to your head. The wedge pillow mentioned earlier is great here as well, probably even more so than the previous position. Some women find that pulling the knees to their chest instead of ankles to the head is a much more rewarding position. This is the part of sex experimentation that you must determine what your partner prefers.
If you are not familiar, here is a definition from the least likely place on Earth — Wikipedia:
Anal beads are a sex toy consisting of multiple spheres or balls attached together in series which are continuously inserted through the anus into the rectum and then removed with varying speeds depending on the effect desired (most typically at orgasm to enhance climax). Those who use anal beads enjoy the pleasurable feeling they receive as the ball passes through the narrow sphincter of the anus.
There is nothing I can change in that definition. Anal beads are the least scary of the butt play toys to play with, and one that intensifies your orgasm, adding a new level to your sex fun.
The first anal beads that I had a chance to play with were small beads (or balls) on a white string like a necklace. Why the manufacturers used WHITE strings on a toy designed for butt play was always a question I could never find the answer to. A dark string would have been a much better choice.
The reason why anal beads (or anal balls), became such a popular toy to play with is because they make “regular” sex fun. Yes, it sounds cheesy but it is true. The small beads (and even the medium, for that matter), are so small and non-threatening, that couples with no experience with sex toys of any kind are typically willing to experiment with butt play.
How Do Anal Beads Work?
For this example, I am using the anal beads that are connected by a string, and have a ring on the end to pull them out. 
There are other types of anal beads that I will mention later. And this assumes you have decided to play with anal beads with your partner. However, you can use the beads for solo play and masturbation just as well.
Using a good quality lube (one that you didn’t buy at a pharmarcy!), and add lube to each of the balls individualy. BE GENEROUS — lube them well. Take the first bead, and press it against your anus. Relax and push the anal bead in with your finger. (Quick Lesson: The anus has two controlling muscles; an outer sphincter and an inner sphincter. Insert the anal beads past the second muscle, which is usually about the second joint of your finger).
Slide your finger out, and repeat on the next bead. Have your partner play with you while this is happening. Remember, the goal is to make sex fun — you shouldn’t experience any pain when inserting the beads. The large anal beads might require a little more time and relaxation, but there should not be any pain when using your anal beads.
Once you have inserted all of the beads (or “anal balls” as one of my staff calls them!), relax and begin to play with your partner, and move on to intercourse or oral sex, or whatever activities you have choose. One of you needs to be warned that your orgasm is coming so they can grab the ring and get ready.
Guys have the “point of no return” and we know once we reach that point on the orgasm-mountain, we are going to come soon no-matter-what; women tell me the same thing. But one of the most difficult things I have found in all my years is sex partners who could not or would not identify that point and tell me “I’m about to cum”.
So hopefully, your partner has warned you of their soon-to-happen — or in progress orgasm! With a firm grip on the ring, gently but firmly pull so that one of the anal balls “pops-out”. Wait ONE second, and then pull the next one out, and continue until they are all out.
WHY does this feel so good?
The anus, richly endowed with nerve endings and interconnected with the main pelvic muscles, is the closest erogenous neighbor of the genitals and contracts rhythmically during orgasm.
Simply put, when your body begins to orgasm, it squeezes your butt closed. Each bead being pulled out is forcing your butt open, and then allowing it to slam shut, thereby increasing the intensity of the orgasm, and in some cases, increasing its duration.
Chances are, you will be exhaused when you play with anal beads. But you will be intensely happy as there will be no pain and beads will certainly make sex fun!
Also, for more advanced butt play individuals, we do sell substantially larger anal beads, where each ball is at least 1.5″ wide.
The “Other” anal beads:
The biggest complaint about the anal beads on a string is that you must insert your finger in your butt in order to get the beads in your butt. Makes sense right? So manufacturers came up with a new type of anal beads all connected on a firm but flexible rod, allowing you to lube the entire rod and insert into your butt without getting your fingers messy. Remember we are trying to make sex fun and some people don’t want to wash their hands before getting busy!
We sell about as many of the “firm” beads as we do the “string” beads. The biggest difference I tell customers is that the firm beads go straight in and maintain themselves in a hard, straight line inside your butt, and only allow your butt to close 75%. The string anal beads on the other hand, do not go deep, do not stay in a straight line, and allow your anus to close 99% because only a string is sticking out.
Preferences and choices! That is what really makes sex fun!
A Message To Guys:
Anal Beads or anal balls are the toy you should consider trying for your experience at butt play. There are non-threatening, insert easy, remove easy, offer no pain, and will double or triple the intensity of your ejaculatory orgasm. We spend a lot of time with guys in the stores trying to preach the virtues of butt play experimentation because of the intensity that it provides. Obviously for guys, we push the LoveWorks prostate toys because it is a two-pronged orgasm intensifier, but for first timers, anal beads are the way to go. Give it a try, in private, alone or with your partner. It is an experience you won’t forget.
Men have a prostate gland, a little organ placed between the rectum and bladder. Unfortunately it does not get a lot of focus from people. It is slightly surprising, since this organ is very vital for male sexual fitness. Regular prostate stimulation in the type of massage can encourage more fulfilling sexual experience with their partners.
It also reduces the danger of severe issues, such as prostate cancer, later on in life. Here is a look at how prostate driven ejaculation can better fulfill prostate health.
How the prostate works
This organ provides an apparently little function, secreting the liquid that makes up about a third of the volume of male ejaculate. The substance supports sperm movement better in the vaginal canal and can contribute to male fertility. The prostate also made up of some perfect muscle tissue that helps with expelling semen correctly.
This gland has nerve tissue that can support and stimulate ejaculation in men who generally have issues with sex. Better sexual satisfaction is reported, even in men who don’t have any dysfunctions. Because of this, prostate massage is a fit option practiced by many couples.
Sexual fitness and prostate
The prostate gland works right only when it is stimulated by the right mix of hormones. The main hormone liable for best prostate function is testosterone, which is generated by the testicles, though some little hormones generated by the adrenal gland also affect the organ. When a man is suffering from very high or low testosterone levels, he may also have issues with prostate health.
Strange hormone levels raise the danger of getting prostate cancer, mainly in older men. Prostate cancer warning signs to be worried about include difficulty urinating, semen or blood in urine, discomfort and swelling in the swollen legs and pelvis. Some men also suffer from bone pains as a prostate cancer symptom.
Many men have an enlarged prostate, which is known as benign prostatic hyperplasia, after the age of thirty. This issue could make it difficult to urinate comfortably and can also affect sexual fitness. Some men with this issue have problems maintaining an erections. In some cases, the prostate becomes blocked or clogged.
Advantages of prostate driven ejaculation
Stimulating the prostate through massage can support, stop or treat all these prostate health issues. For example, normal prostate massage ejaculation or other methods can decrease the danger of prostate related cancer. The suggestions is for Men to ejaculate at least twenty one times per month in their forties as this will have about 1/3 less chance of suffering from the prostate cancer symptoms. At age fifty, the defensive effect of regular ejaculation rises to approximately fifty percent.
Massage can also support men who suffer from an enlarged prostate by decreasing the discomfort. This is mainly real for people who have a gentle bacterial illness or a swelling that has caused the gland to become blocked. By inducing ejaculation via prostate massage, these men can get rid of build-up fluid, relieve force, and even support the body overcome the bacteria. Massage used to be a quality treatment for prostatitis before the advent of antibiotics and it is still used in many nations today.
Types of prostate massage
Massage, also called milking, can be done either internally or externally. Internal message is the traditional technique used by medical doctors. This idea involves the insertion of a finger or, in some instances, an anal instrument designed to stimulate the prostate without causing damage. Some men use toys designed for “p-spot” massage as well, but it is vital to make sure that any tool used in prostate massage has a non-slip grip and a wide base that stops it from becoming lost inside the body.
One of the best prostate massage sex toys is made by Aneros. It is available in multiple shapes, sizes and colors, from beginner to advanced. After insertion, squeezing of the anal sphincter will cause the toy to move up and forward, massage the prostate. Some men are able to ejaculate from this action without touching their penis. Those who are not as lucky, will masturbate the penis to ejaculate. Either way, the strength and intensity of the orgasm is multiplied many times over because of the sex toy massaging the prostate.
External massage is less insidious and more relaxing for some men, especially those who feel as though internal message is taboo. This technique involves using the massage or fingers to rub the prostate through the muscle and skin of the perineum. Some men who have extremely sensitive prostate find that external message is more effective and relaxed, while others have issue getting a response from this technique.
In Asian countries, massage therapists will offer to give a “junlipsun” massage, which is a form of external prostate massage without any penetration of the anus. Although these massages may feel good, external massage does not generate the same affects as a penetrative massage.
Preparation
Both external and internal massage jobs best after a bowel treatment, when the rectum and anus are empty, men who are worried about cleanliness during internal massage may want to use an enema to clean the place fully. Internal massage should never be done without a good lubricant. Men who want to use their fingers for prostate massage should make sure their nails are carefully smooth and trimmed.
When done right, prostate driven ejaculation can reduce the danger of prostate cancer symptoms, enlargement of the prostate gland and clogging. It often supports relieve discomfort in men who already have a prostate issue. It can also provide support to men have a more fulfilling sexual relationship. This idea is healthy, natural and non-harmful to the majority of men, making it a best choice for anyone who wants to make sure of having a lifetime of prostate health.
What is the meaning of orgasam? What is Orgasim? I was confused when I first read these questions at Yahoo because I wasn't thinking about a spelling error.
In fact, I thought maybe that OrgaSIM had something to do with that game "The Sims" – a life simulation game which is the best selling video game of all time. It made sense to me.
I wasn't so sure about OrgaSAM, unless it was a person created for use in The Sim's game. Shows you what little I know about gaming. I don't even know what the game looked like except they let you change your characters, dress, them undress (!) them and more.
So I decided to check with my friends at the URBAN DICTIONARY about "orgasam" and "orgasim". I asked, "What is the meaning of orgasam? And What is orgasim?" Here is what I found:
Meaning of orgasam
orgasam is an orgasm without a spell check.
orgasm, NOT orgasam
What is orgasim
The fucking idiot's alternative to 'orgasm,' which is a sexual climax.
I don't know how to spell orgasm, and that gives me an orgasim!
For another fine example of illiteracy regarding sex, see masterbate.
So after I stopped laughing, and realized there was nothing in "The Sims" or any other video game called "orgasam" or "orgasim", I wanted to know how often this word was mis-used.
I found a bunch of websites that listed the "Top [XX] Most Commonly Misspelled Words in English" but couldn't find a page that only listed the sex words! So I decided to make a quick list. Here is my Top 8 Misspelled Sex Words:
1. orgasam – (more than 10,000 searches per month).
2. orgasim – (more than 10,000 searches per month).
3. masterbation (and masterbate) – (each more than 100,000 searches per month). Interestingly, the CORRECT spelling gets the same number of searches! Mastrubate also took over 10,000 searches. What is the deal? None of us can spell masturbate correctly??
4. viberator – (only 1,000 searches per month).
5. Didlo – (over 10,000 searches per month). Of course, this is a finger typing error so it is easy to understand. I would have thought that "dildoe" would have been a contender, but it only received 1,000 searches each month).
6. Penus – (over 10,000 searches per month). Well, it is for "us" in most relationships!
7. Bysexual – (over 1,000 searches). This one still makes me laugh!
8. And the final word? PUSSIE. (over 10,000 searches each month).
So masturbate and the derivative is the most misspelled adult sex word on the internet! Perhaps it is due to typing with one hand.
Do you know of any commonly misspelled sex words? Like "organisms".
