The question staff hear a gazillion times is “Should I buy a silicone lube or a water based lube”? Although we are all happy to answer the question and talk about the differences, we can’t answer it in five words or less. It takes a little more detail to explain the differences between the lubes.
In addition, each staff member will have a preference based on personal experience and will always push toward a product that he or she is familiar with.
First of all, WATER BASED LUBE:
Water based lube are the most common lube type on the market. It has been around the longest, has more brands of product available, is easy to clean up, doesn’t stain your sheets or towels (usually!), and provided you buy a decent quality product, will be all natural.
It can be used with all condoms and with all toys, as both are fully compatible with water based lube. It can be used anally or vaginally. And it is quite PURE in most cases. It does “wear out” meaning that you must re-apply if your sexual proclivities take longer than average (Your so lucky!).
My preference for suggesting water based lube is SWISS NAVY. I think it has an inbetween thickness which I really like; and it maintains a nice level of wetness. I don’t use multiple types of lube — I use Swiss Navy water based lube for sexual intercourse and for masturbation using a Fleshlight.
Prior to Swiss Navy, I used Gun Oil; and Astroglide before that. Gun Oil is slightly thinner, and is a good product, but I don’t like it as much as Swiss Navy. Astroglide is no longer a suggested product due to its mass marketing and lack of improvements.
Next is SILICONE LUBE:
Silicone is made from a chemical that can appear in many different forms, from rubbers, solids, and oils. Silicone lube has a silky feel, and stays behind on the skin to leave the skin smooth and moist. It takes only a very small amount of silicone, because the concentrated product goes a long way.
Silicone lube does not easily wash away, meaning you can use it in the shower without losing the moisture or lubricated feeling.
It is NOT easy to clean up, and some will stain or mark your sheets. When you wipe the lube off your hands, the slippery feeling does not go away.
One of my staff members tells customers the following analogy: “Don’t use very much otherwise it will be like throwing a hot dog down a long hall”. And she is right — silicone doesn’t “wear out” and does not need to be re-applied.
Silicone is also safe vaginally and anally, and with condoms of course. It is NOT recommended to use silicone lube with toys of any kind.
My preference for suggestion a silicone lube is SWISS NAVY (no surprise there!). I like the Swiss Navy line of products and tend to stay with it when I suggest anything. I almost never use a silicone lube, but I have given the gift of PINK because it comes in a very nice discreet glass bottle that a woman will feel comfortable leaving on her night stand. The JO line of lubes is also a popular seller in our stores.
And finally, I want to talk about OIL:
Oil is a NO GO! Products like Baby Oil, Vaseline, and Mazola, should not be used for sexual activity. I was watching a porn movie the other day and noticed that the performer was using Vaseline to lube his penis for intercourse. It is sticky, messy, breaks down condoms — and it stays IN the vagina after use!
We found a website PROMOTING Vaseline as a “back-up” if you run out of your favorite lube! NO!! They link to selling Vaseline and couldn’t care less about the safety issues or potential infections you could obtain because of the sticky Vaseline staying inside your vagina or anus.
Once again, Vaseline is NOT a lube, is not smooth and can cause PH problems and possible infections. Please, do not use Vaseline, Baby Oil or kitchen oils for sex. Please … we beg you!
And finally, choose the right product. Remember, it is going INSIDE parts of your body. Do you really want to use the wrong lube?
Being in this business for so many years, you come to expect strange and weird sex toys. And you come to ACCEPT all the oddities that are created each year. Yep, it becomes “normal”. But sometimes, I sit down and look over some of the year’s more weird sex toys.
Here are a few that gave me “pause”.
I always found this to be strange, but I guess animal play has evolved (for lack of a better word!). And they didn’t just create ONE of these weird sex toys, we stock 25 different TAILS!
The fact that we need to stock 25 different items is a testament upon itself.
I don’t know if people start off with “growing a tail” and then move on to full furry sex? Nobody has explained that progression to me.
Now THAT is just wrong. Not that you are having sex with an invflatible sheep (yes, I told you my sexual compass was “off”), but the fact that you would be balls deep into a sheep and it starts TALKING to you!
Do you really want to hear your sheep talk? I thought that was the whole poing of having sex with blow up dolls — THEY ARE QUIET!
Thankfully, the last time I looked we were out of stock.
#3 and #4: I’m putting these together because they hurt me while I’m typing. Vagina Spreader Clips and Penis Urethral Spreader
Both of these items give me the heeby-jeebies. Since I own a penis, the Urethral Spreader actually gives me night mares. I believe in “to each his own” and “whatever floats your boat”, but I can not understand how spreading my pee hole would be exciting.
But, I guess as a form of punishment, it might be fitting. I promise, I’ll be a good boy from now on.
#5: Electro shock or “TENS” units:
I have written about my personal experiences with electric shock sex toys, so I won’t go into detail again except to say it is not for everyone.
For me (read in detail above), electric shock units are better suited to be used on submissives by a dominant. I think that is where the draw and the excitement really is because it is “behind your control”.
This is truly one of the weird sex toys! I wrote a detailed review here.
Lady Siren wrote about weird sex toys like the LIPSTICK VIBRATOR here.
But why? Why do you need a lipstick vibrator? Some of the new bullets are so unique and non-descript, no one would notice.
And even if they did notice, why are they digging in your purse? I would have got my butt beat if I got caught digging in my mom’s purse. Maybe even beat harder if I had found her weird sex toys.
#8: Vesper Vibrator Around Your Neck:
The Vesper was discussed here on loveworks.com.
It is not so much of a weird sex toy as it is a terrible indicator of “keeping up with the Jones”.
It is an expensive toy – and once it was seen by “celebrity-type” persons, it because (temporarily) popular. It can even be engraved with your personal message. How touching.
Lets be honest. It is a HARD vibrator with less power than the cheapest disposables we carry. And you are going to pay more than $70-$149 for it. I’ll pass.
When I talk with customers (and when I teach my staff to talk with customers) about anal toys, I explain that there are five reasons for buying anal toys or the toy more commonly known as a butt plug. But before I tell them the “reasons”, I always ask “what is your goal?” or “what do you hope to accomplish with a butt plug“.
So often, the customer looks at me like I have five heads. Since they have never thought of it in the way I am asking, they are often at a loss for answers. On the other hand, customers that have thought it out, will tell me things like “to help her get ready for anal sex” or “because it feels good to cum with a finger in my ass, I thought a toy would be even better“. There is no wrong answer, I just want to know what they are seeking so that I can show them the right type of butt plug that will (hopefully) fulfill their “goals”.
Also, a disclaimer. Although I have been called “asshole”, it was never “Dr Asshole”. I don’t pretend to know it all — and I don’t want to imply that my explanations may not be different from others in the industry. What I write here is based on my knowledge, my experience, and my experimentation with anal toys. I’ve never been in a master/slave relationship, so I have no experience in slave training and anal punishment. And, last time I checked, I don’t have a vagina, so I can’t tell you first-hand how expansion toys will feel when they are used with a penis or toy in the vagina. And finally, other than prostate toys, I don’t personally enjoy toys in my butt. Got it? Ok, lets continue.
The Five Reasons for Buying and Using Anal Toys:
1. Anal play, the feel of something in the ass, allows the ass to close (but feel “full” if a larger toy is used), The smaller base helps to keep the toy in your ass during anal play because your ass is able to “close” substantially after insertion. Anal beads are part of this category unless they are extremely large. Small anal beads are the greatest item for beginners trying anal play for the first time.
Anal Play Toys:
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Big toys with small base – inflatable butt plug; the felling of “fullness” during anal play; There can be less pain during insertion and removal. Once inside however, there is no feeling; just like anal toys that are air filled or expandable. In some cases, the buttons will be on the base will be up to your ass where you can reach them! An inflatable butt plug does not provide the same level of excitement during anal play because the largest portion of the butt plug in in your anal canal — which doesn’t provide the same intensity as a larger base toy.
The toy on the right however, is still an inflatable butt plug, but is designed as an anal expander. It is not inserted all the way past your anal sphincter. It is intended to go only partially in the opening. Then as the pumping begin, it stretches the anal opening. This inflatable butt plug helps to (slowly) enlarge your butt hole (for lack of better word). Pump it up; rest. Pump it up more; rest. You get the picture. Although we do sell this product, I usually suggest anal trainers instead of inflatable butt plugs.
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This post got too long! There is more! “4 Helpful Tips On How To Get Ready For Anal Sex” is here.
Male contraceptive research is a popular topic, but has so far failed to generate any worth while success stories and successful products.
CNN consequently announced that the male contraceptive shot had been discontinued due to the side effects persons in the tests were experiencing and the overall unhappiness with the project. Most of the participants regained fertility after the test was concluded, but not all. It was written off as a failure, but seems like it did provide a great deal of hope for the future.
In terms of a male contraceptive pill, THEGUARDIAN reported that:
A second challenge, for the male contraception, is that the hormones they normally rely on are quickly metabolised by the liver, meaning that it’s difficult to package the drugs in a pill form. Again, it is worth noting that most of men on the trial said they would be happy to go forward with the injection method.
Which doesn’t bode well for creating a pill based delivery system.
At one time, a pill known as the “clean sheets” male contraceptive pill was showing promise. The theory behind it was to eliminate the liquid (semen with sperm) during ejaculation but still allow the feeling and contractions of a normal ejaculation. Some writers nicknamed it the “Dry Orgasm” pill. Researchers wondered if men would accept a product that completely prevented any liquid from being expelled during ejaculation. Conflicting information exists that an actual pill doesn’t exist; as no test product has been crafted.
In June of 2015, THE TELEGRAPH wrote about a great “new” male contraceptive coming called “Vasalgel”. At the time, they reported that it was a “polymer that’s injected into a man’s sperm-carrying tubes in his scrotum”. And they projected that it would be available in 2018-2020.
Cue up 2017 and the latest studies about this new male contraceptive.
According to SCIENCE DAILY,
Results of a study of Vasalgel in rhesus macaques have been published. Vasalgel is being developed by a social venture as a non-hormonal, long-acting, potentially reversible male contraceptive. It is a polymer hydrogel that works by blocking sperm in the vas deferens. Injection of Vasalgel in sexually mature adult male rhesus monkeys was effective in preventing conception throughout the one-plus year study period.
First of all, the project started in rabbits and was successful. Then researchers decided to switch to Macaques because they share more anatomic similarities with us (go figure – we have a lot in common with monkeys). During the test, no female monkeys were impregnated by the monkeys with the vasalgel injections. At the end of the test, another injection flushes out the gel and returns the patient to a fertile state.
As a result, it does not affect the level of hormones, or the sperm production, no visible or known side-effects were discovered as part of the test.
There is a parallel study that has been occurring longer in India. It is called RISUG, an acronym for Reversible Inhibition of 
Sperm Under Guidance. Vasalgel is based on the research and testing of the RISUG product. RISUG however, acts differently than Vasalgel: “Within an hour, the drugs produce an electrical charge that nullifies the electrical charge of the spermatozoa, preventing it from penetrating the ovum,” Dr. SK Guha said.
RISUG however, has over 250 adult participants — some for as long as 10 years! But what makes RISUG incredibly interesting … and incredibly suspicious as to why it is not in the USA, is the cost: “The shot itself costs less than the syringe used to administer it”. Yes, read that again – the shot of the gel-product costs less than the syringe.
The Indian researchers have also discovered “SMART RISUG” — a more temporary male contraceptive. “When an external microwave applies heat to the polymer, is can liquify the polymer again to be excreted to restore fertility. Smart RISUG is therefore better choice for men who want to use RISUG as temporary birth control, since it does not require a second surgery to restore fertility.”
As I continued to read about these male contraceptive products, I wondered why RISUG wasn’t being pushed in the US, since it already had 10 years of study on the books. Then I found it. As a result of the Indian popularity, the rights to RISUG in the US were sold. The patent belongs to Dr Guha of India.
Intellectual property rights to RISUG in the United States were acquired between 2010–2012 by the Parsemus Foundation, a not-for-profit organization, which has branded it as Vasalgel
Furthermore, before you get too excited, you should know that the product is still years away from FDA approval, and it isn’t as easy as getting a shot. “A further factor likely to impact numbers using this method is that Vasalgel still involves minor surgery to pull out the sperm tubes and inject the gel. What’s more, when sperm are reabsorbed into the body, there is a risk of an immune reaction, potentially leaving men less fertile after reversal — similar to vasectomy, though risks with the gel are lower, according to Lissner” [from the CNN article].
Therefore the goal is a male contraceptive pill, because society is based on taking a pill for everything — and male contraception is no different. The drag on the entire process appears to be funding. Men do not seem to approach these projects with their checkbooks.
Anal play and the anal trainer is usually not used to “fuck the ass”. By that, I mean that those analsex toys are designed to be inserted and are to remain inserted for a period of time. “Anal fucking” toys are designed to go in-and-out of the anus, simulating anal intercourse: in effect, giving the recipient a good ass fuck.
The Colt Rammer Analsex toy on the left is designed for your partner to move the toy in and out of your ass, teaching you the feeling of what receiving anal intercourse is going to feel like.
The toy on the right is a great toy for someone to teach himself (or herself) to accept the feelings of anal intercourse, with a suction-cup equipped ULTRA THIN analsex toy. The head is the only thing larger than the shaft — mimicking the feel of the initial insertion of the penis into the ass. After that, the shaft is smooth and thin — providing a great hands-free toy that can be used alone.
We carry hundreds of quality analsex toys you can choose when you want a toy to fuck the ass!
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Strap-ons and Harnesses also fit in this category:
Notice the first analsex toy – the Sportsheets Anal Explorer Kit. This toy comes with two different dildos, a very thin one and a thicker one. It is great starter kit for both him and her. Also, I like this strap-on toy set because it is easy to put on and adjust. There is nothing worse than standing around, stepping in and out of straps, telling your self, “how the fuck do I put this on??”
It has been 4-5 years now since we saw a huge increase in sales of smaller, thinner equipped strap-ons to couples, where the male was the intended receiver. Now known as “pegging”, it is the act of “reverse anal intercourse”, where the female uses a strap on dildo to penetrate her male partner in the ass. I think the description is pretty clear, but just in case, I’ll include a drawing a female giving her man a good ass fuck.
While writing this, I went to Wikipedia to see what they had on the subject, and I learned something! You never know when you are going to pick up a piece of trivia that you can amaze your friends with. Here is what I learned:
There is a depiction of pegging in the William S. Burroughs 1959 novel Naked Lunch. The dildo used in the scene is called a Steely Dan III, and is the source from which the musical group Steely Dan takes its name
So my favorite group, “Steely Dan” is named after a DILDO! 25 years in this industry and no one told me that! I had to go to the novel and find out how it was used, because supposedly, it was a women wearing the “Steely Dan Dildo” to fuck her male partner!
“Mary is strapping on a rubber penis: ‘Steely Dan III from Yokohama,’ she says, caressing the shaft.”)
3. Anal punishment; usually larger toys, and toys designed to be worn for longer times and often in public. “We are looking for a huge anal dildo”. Usually the husband tells us – and the wife is quiet as can be. We also learned that 80% of the time it is to be used on the husband!
Both huge anal dildo s are intended to cross that line between pleasure and pain. In my opinion, the one on the right is designed purely for domination. It is going to hurt going in. But as soon as it is in the ass, your butt hole will be so happy that it can close that it won’t hurt anymore — at least until it is time to pull it out. And that is part of the game — knowing how much it will hurt to remove it encourages the partner to keep it in and wear it. That is why it is called anal punishment.
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Brutal Anal Punishment Toys:
[Not everyone agrees with me on this aspect of anal play. A huge anal dildo is usually purchased by those into a dominant/submissive or master/slave relationship, even if the customer won’t admit it. So in my article today, humongous toys are included in my anal punishment section! NOTE TO STORE EMPLOYEES: I know that some of you have different opinions than I do — feel free to add your opinions in the comments section.]
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Anal Punishment using a huge anal dildo is more fantasy than reality. When you search, it is almost impossible to find anything except porn videos and tube sites. Even though this can include spankings, I have decided not to include spanking toys in this section because it isn’t “anal” play.
2. Anal Trainer; The anal trainer, also called an anal dilator, is a type of toy designed to “teach” the ass to stretch open and stay open, by usually having a larger base that maintains the “gape” of the opening. Some anal dilators are designed like a penis to also “teach” the anus about the way the sphincter will open and close around the head of the penis. An anal trainer, like the ones on the left, may slip out of the anus because they are about the same diameter all the way to the base. Wearing a thong is one way to keep them in place. Sitting and squeezing is another way to keep an anal trainer in place and teach your anus to relax and stretch.
Compare the picture below to the standard butt plug you have seen. Butt Plugs are more Christmas tree shaped, with a very small neck, that allows the anus to close after the butt plug is inserted. An anal dilator, is designed differently – with a wider neck that keeps the anus open and stretched.
[Squeezing is one way to teach the anus (and the vagina) to accept and get used to objects. Since you are squeezing with an anal trainer toy in place, your anus is unable to close all the way and after each squeeze, your anal muscles tend to relax more and more].
BTW, I love to include Wikipedia whenever I can!
A rectal or anal dilator is a medical device to open and relax the internal/external anal sphincter and rectum to facilitate medical inspection or relieve constipation
Really, what could they say. How about this? “A rectal or anal dilator is a medical device to open and relax the internal/external anal sphincter and rectum to facilitate MORE COMFORTABLE ANAL INTERCOURSE AND TOY INSERTION. Wiki rejected my change suggestions.
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Part 5: The Prostate Toy and Prostate Stimulation
I made that sign and mounted it to the wall. It takes up a lot of space that could be filled with other products, but the sign is important. It is meant to draw the attention of guys who are intrigued by experiencing what the sign promises, the most intense prostate orgasm!
As men, no one tells us (honestly) that a toy or a lube or ANYTHING is going to improve our orgasm. To be honest, it is usually pretty good regardless … I have never heard loveworks.com my friends tell me they just had an orgasm, "but it wasn't good". In the words of one of my friends, "even a bad blowjob is still good!" But do you hear men talk about having an intense male orgasm? No. We came, and it was great, thank you. They had not experienced a prostate orgasm yet!
In the stores, the girls test all the products. Since I give them a very large discount on any of the sex toys they want, they tend to purchase multiple sex toys and try them out. The fun thing about a store like LoveWorks is that everyone has no shame coming back to work the next day and talking about how good or bad the toy worked while their boyfriend/husband/girlfriend/onenightstand was doing the nasty with them. But none ever come back and say they had most intense orgasm ever; or more specifically, that their boyfriend ever had most intense orgasm ever.
And they get excited when new sex toys arrive, sometimes saying things that come out without a "filter" — things that perhaps, as the boss, I shouldn't hear. "I can't wait to put that toy in my …" I shake my head and laugh, because of the size of the huge dildo that had just been unpackaged.
But when it comes to new mens toys, they are at a disadvantage, as they are not equipped. Well, to the best of my knowledge, none of them are "equipped"!
And going back to the beginning of this post, I said that most mens toys are nothing to get excited about. When we receive a new pocket pussy, molded after the latest hot porn star, no one is running to my office asking me to review it, because there is no need. They are mostly the same; the material may have changed, or it is designed after a different porn star. But in the end, the male pocket pussys are pretty much the same.
My friends at Doc Johnson and Sweedish Erotica might not like that I call the toys all the same, but they are. The boxes tell us that this one is a mold of Tera Patrick and this one is Shania Twain. It is still the same design and function. Yes, I'm kidding about selling a Shania toy.
My staff immediately pressed me into service and told me that SOMEONE had to test the Aneros and I was the only male in the building. I wasn't excited about it because to me, it was nothing more than another $60 butt plug.
I believe the first one I tried was the SGX; at the time, the skinnier Eupho wasn't on the market. Other than an occasional finger in my butt, I wasn't much of an anal guy. I have nothing against it, but Hemorrhoids have always prevented me from experimenting with much anal play. TMI? Oh well, too bad, this is a review of a prostate stimulatopm sex toy that goes in your butt, what can I say?? 🙂
That night, after telling my wife about the experiment, I went into the bathroom to insert the prostate toy. For whatever reason, I wasn't keen on letting my wife wach me insert it, as I was worried about grimacing in pain and her saying "See, that is why I don't let you fuck me in the ass".
So I used a thick lube, pushed the lube into my butt with my finger and tried to relax. [NOTE TO SELF: This process would have been better if I had an anal shooter]. Lubed the prostate stimulation toy and began the journey to darker territory. It didn't feel good half way in, which is the widest part of the anal invader. But right after the largest part was inserted, my butt sucked the toy in to the base like a vacuum going after a feather boa.
I squeezed my pee muscle (or "poop" muscle if you prefer) and could feel the prostate toy move up and down slightly and it felt good, but not as good as the description. According to the ad copy, I should begin seeing my penis "drool" with pre-cum, as the toy pressed against the prostate and began providing prostate stimulation. (This NEVER EVER happened with me, but other customers told me that pre-cum flowed out after inserting the toy!)
What was really surprising me was that I was losing my erection with the prostate toy inserted. I assume that my system was unhappy that there was an attempt to hack my back door and was shutting down all services, takes us to defcon 1, and preventing any further unauthorized entries.
Of course, being with my wife, it didn't really matter. We could sit around and laugh about this for a while, and fool around doing other things until my city manager was ready to fill the fire hose.
After a few minutes, my erection was back and I was ready to begin having intercourse. In the general stroking in and out, there was nothing unusual, except loveworks.com that my mind knew something was up my butt. But when I would squeeze my pee muscle repeatedly while stroking, I began to notice a different feeling. It was rubbing something that felt good, which must be caused by the prostate stimulation. I couldn't wait to experience a prostate orgasm at this point.
When I felt this prostate orgasm beginning to happen, I also felt the muscles of my penis, pee muscle and anus all begin to flex, adding to new feelings. I knew that these feelings were different and were due to the prostate stimulation working in my butt.
At that moment when God said "Let there be happiness", I let out a quiet shreak as the prostate orgasm began, and my anus repeatedly squeezed open and closed, intensifying and extending the length of the orgasm. It was most intense orgasm I have experienced! Did I say it was intense? YES, it was the most intense orgasm that I could experience — and if I could have done it over and over, I would have never left the room.
I could almost picture Star Trek and Scotty yelling, "I'm sorry Captain, but there is something stuck in the door and its going to blow!"
After this most intense prostate orgasm, I began to laugh. The Aneros prostate toy had proved me wrong — there were toys that could improve the male orgasm by using a toy for prostate stimulation.
Removing the toy isn't as much fun however. My anus acted as though it didn't want to let go of the toy that had just shook its world! I gently tugged to remove the toy as it gently pulled back and said "NO". When the half-way mark of the prostate toy was out, my ass released and threw the toy at me, "Here!".
Most prostate toys are white, REALLY white. And that makes it very clear that you need to clean the toy really well with soap and water. And once clean, the material does NOT maintain any odor.
[If you are easily grossed out, skip this paragraph]. After washing the toy in soap and water, and then drying, I held the toy to my nose and sniffed. I could not tell that this toy had just been in no man's land.
I experimented with that toy many times, to the point where I wasn't enjoying sex if the prostate toy wasn't in my ass! That is how you know you are hoooked and it really was the most intense orgasm!
That is when I decided to experiment with the larger Aneros, the Progasm prostate toy. It hurt like HELL to put this toy in my butt and to take it out, but it also provided a most intense orgasm, except that it was multipled many, many times when having it inside. And my butt was sore for a day. But to feel an orgasm that strong was worth the soreness.
After a while, I had to wean myself off butt toys because sex without a toy up my butt was boring, and the cum was … "ho-hum". That is so depressing to put on paper. But it is true.
That tells you how powerful it can be. I was having BODY SHAKING prostate orgasm s; I was weak in the knees after blowing my load; I was experiencing the most intense orgasm that my wife gets, AND MIKEY LIKEY!
Now, to keep myself from getting "used" to them, I only use my Aneros a few times per month. That l
While I was in the testing stage, I tried some of the other products we were receiving such as the Rudemen series of anal toys, as well as a few Aneros competitors that didn't last. At one time, a UK company shipped me a few toys to try, but the design and feeling wasn't the same and we chose not to carry their prostate toy line.
The biggest difficulty we have in selling the Aneros is the fear of putting a sex toy into the ass. "You ain't putting no toy in MY ass". I wish I had a $1 for every time that a man said that in the store.
But in those relationships where they agreed to experiment and use the toy, the wives returned to tell the employees how Mr Macho turned into Mr Whimperer after having the most intense orgasm of his life.
Uh-huh. You can still be a man and have a toy up your ass. 🙂
Lets talk technical stuff: Every person is different; specifically the distance between the anal opening and the prostate; the angle or depth of the prostate in the anal canal, and more factors. Because of this, the prostate stimulation might be less than or greater than what I experienced.
Aneros toys worked for me but not as good as some of my friends. Some of the other brands might work better for other customers. That is the nature of the game — you must experiment if you want to know. Buy the toy and take the risk — it works for you or it doesn't. And if it works, you will be appreciative and non-judgemental of the price!
Also, I tried vibrating toys as well, but for prostate toys, I always returned to the non-vibe toys. The feeling seemed better without the vibrations. But that doesn't mean I won't try new vibrating toys when they come with a kick-starter.
This sex toy how-to originally appeared on LoveWorks.com
Mike Myers had the Golden Penis in "Goldmember", so out of jealousy, Cee Lo Green created his own adult toy, "The Golden Dildo". Or at least I think that is what he did.
When I first saw the Myers costume in Austin Powers, at least I understood what was going on.
When Cee Lo got to the Grammy's, I didn't know what to think. The only words that came out of my mouth, were "WTF?". Is he really dressed as a golden dildo?
And based on the chatter on the internet, I'm not alone. No one understands what he was trying to accomplish except to be WEIRD. It reminds me of what happens when you sit around, smoking a joint, and you say out loud, "I know what will be cool!".
But another poster had a better idea. He felt that Cee Lo Green went to the Grammy's 2017 as an OSCAR!! After seeing the picture, I was confused. Was he dressed as an Oscar Award? Or a Golden Dildo like I originally thought?
Then I realized that I was right. Cee Lo Green would never dress as an Oscar!! He went as a Golden Dildo, because that is his way of saying "Fuck You" to all the haters.
So for that, we honor Cee Lo with the official Golden Dildo Award. Thank you High Society for getting the award made so quickly.
PS: Hey Cee Lo, you should get together with Gwyneth Paltrow. She has a thing for golden dildos!
For anyone with an extensive dildo budget, Gwyneth Paltrow has quite the device for you.
Selling at $22,000, the Oscar-winning actress recommends that if you're interested in receiving a luxurious orgasm, you should try out the Lelo "Inez," a 24-carat gold sex toy.
At LoveWorks, we do have GOLD DILDOS and other GOLD BUTT PLUGS. And the the guys, we even have a GOLD FLESHLIGHT, with a mocha inset! But they aren't REAL GOLD … Just gold in color — just like Cee Lo.
I started writing this article titled " sex with things " because I remember my beginnings in the Adult Store business when a few of my friends (male and female) said they would never use sex toys because it was like having sex with things. I always found it humorous but I try to remember that this was 1991 and we weren't talking about sexual practices on Saturday Night Live yet or discussing how a Presidential-Candidate believes he is the arbiter of public morals and is against the use of all sex toys and believes vendors and users should be arrested.
In other words, I thought this would be a fun trip down memory lane, remembering how the use of sex toys became main stream and stopped being considered as having sex with things!
I think we have all seen or heard of people having sex with things .. certainly you remember the movie "American Pie" and the famous "apple pie scene" when character Jason Biggs is told that sex feels like a "warm apple pie", he wastes no time finding out if that was true the next time his mom baked one!
To me, it rates as one of the entertaining scenes … but the snap on the left is from the uncensored version. The scene was modified later and there is another scene where the character is having sex with the pie while standing up. But why in the kitchen I always wanted to ask? It seems to me that even an apple pie would want some privacy.
My friends weren't thinking about apple pie when they were saying "No" to sex with things. The females were talking about their reluctance to insert something plastic into their vagina; while the males were unwilling to admit to wanting to masturbate, much less, masturbate with a plastic receptacle.
And of course, that was before we moved to materials like real-feel, and silicone. Originally, many of our items were "plastic-ish" for lack of a better word … and often had a slightly oily smell. However, they were made in the USA, in Los Angeles in fact, because I remember going to the factory and seeing the process. Things sure have changed.
For women, silicone has been the biggest boon to encouraging women to try more insertable toys. It is easy to clean, hygienic, and lasts a long time … and it feels great.
For men, real-feel material and fleshlight material improved the feeling immensely. Being able to warm the toy added another layer of excitement. And men eliminated the shame of buying a sex toy to use for masturbation.
But then I decided to research and see what people thought of having sex with things in 2017. Obviously it is a phrase that we do not EVER hear anymore, so I wanted to know what the internet world thought of it.
OMG. I never knew such a world existed.
There is a movie documentary featuring Malcolm Brenner who fell in love and sex with a dolphin. I'm not making this stuff up. And I mean a REAL swimming dolphin; because there is NO dolphin sex toy that a man can have sex with! Sometimes I don't think that searching is my friend, when I find things like "What does a dolphin's vagina look like" or "Women has sex with dolphin during NASA experiment".
And then there was the man having sex with "My Little Pony". I can't even attach that image here. Or the other guy masturbating with a head of cabbage (ok, go ahead and make the joke, "Yes, he was getting head"). And then there were the DOZENS of videos of masturbation using watermelon, honey dew melons, and so much more.
But I had only scratched the surface of people having sex with things. There was the picture of the man having sex with a skinned, cleaned, Cornish hen. Ewww. Then there was the guy who had sex with a hot pocket because his followers shared and liked his previous escapades with a Pop Tart box.
Or the number of people who have used a banana or a carrot for masturbation. It was shocking. You have close friends? Ask them if they ever practiced giving a blow job to a banana! Stop laughing – it might surprise you.
And if this post about sex with things isn't already creepy enough, there were SO MANY reports about people using soiled panties to masturbate. To the point that one handyman would rifle through the laundry basket and steal panties from every house where he worked. In Los Angeles, one earned the nickname, "The Panty Bandit".
Thankfully, we never hear complaints about vibrators or dildos being the same as sex with things. Sex Toys have moved into the mainstream and are no longer hidden and not discussed. It is everywhere, thanks to the various TV shows and movies that have included references to sex toys or sexual practices.
Thanks Hollywood! The industry of adult stores thanks you for your support!