This article originally appeared on LoveWorks.com. Mark Twain said that "Truth is stranger than fiction" and he was not kidding. I've talked before how I love seeing sex and sex toys integrated into main stream television and news, because it acts as a desensitizer — unintentionally helping people adjust and accept the adult industry. When Ted Cruz ran for President, his oppononents jumped on Cruz' history in Texas fighting against the "obscene device law", which removed the freedom for consenting adults to buy and use dildos and vibrators in Texas. It was great! For a period of time, headlines and major news sources were talking about the right to have sex toys! It was every adult store owner's "wet dream".
Add to that the Oregon Occupation militia requesting food and support, and received double dongs and a 55-gallon drum of lube! And everyon
e I know is familiar with the famous Sex in the City episode where the "Rabbit" sex toy became cemented in the minds of viewers forever. And then REDBOOK, the staple of stay-at-home-soccer-moms decided to review the Rabbit vibrator! I never thought I would live to see the day that REDBOOK MAGAZINE was reviewing Sex Toys.
At the time, we went from stocking 3-4 types of Rabbits in the store, to stocking dozens. Adult stores around the US began adopting the "rabbit" as its mascot, a joke that only adults caught, giving them a smile, while their kids were telling them "Mom, look at that cute rabbit".
Yes, that really is the old man in the rabbit costumes. From time to time, employees at the stores will take our rabbit and heart costumes out of the store room and go outside and wave to card. It is so much fun to watch drivers giggle and laugh-out-loud as they see us standing there waving.
So it was both a shock and excitement for me when I watched Saturday Night Live this week (Feb 4, 2017), starring Kristen Stewart. Not I have to admit, I didn't know who she was. And I especially didn't know she had earned the honor of being slammed by Donald Trump in his Tweets … but then I also didn't know she was cheating with the "Snow White" and the "Huntsman" director, Rupert Sanders, while she was dating Robert Pattinson. But then again, I didn't care either!
But on Saturday Night Live, during a skit on "what crazy things you did when you had too much to drink", Kristen's character admits to the "support group" that she was very shocked that she had swallowed an entire egg without digesting it, because, as she admitted, she "passed" it the next morning without cracking the shell. But, with help from the "self-help group", she realizes that the didn't swallow the egg … It entered through her exit! In other words, during her "out of control drinking incident", she inserted items into her butt for sexual pleasure!! It was a funny segment, and again brought attention to the sexual mores changing in society. Here we are on National Television, discussing the sexual practice of inserting something in your butt. Thanks Saturday Night Live and Kristen Stewart, adult stores around the US appreciate the new interest in "butt toys".
When Ted Cruz was running for President, his shady history as the "Texas Solicitor General" shocked and angered people across the nation. Cruz fought tooth-and-nail against the sale or sexual devices like dildos, vibrators and penis pumps — comparing the sale of these devices to the "sale of sex". Thankfully the appeals court wouldn't accept his ridiculous back-woods arguments and slapped him on the back of the head.
As an industry, we already have a target painted on our backs and decided to "sit this one out" and let mainstream media and angry citizens go on the attach. It was a good decision on our part because Cruz was hammered on his beliefs that the state had a right to regulate consensual sex between consensual adults in private. We are happy those days are over and Cruz is history.
From MotherJones:
The brief insisted that Texas, in order to protect "public morals," had "police-power interests" in "discouraging prurient interests in sexual gratification, combating the commercial sale of sex, and protecting minors." There was a "government" interest, it maintained, in "discouraging…autonomous sex." The brief compared the use of sex toys to "hiring a willing prostitute or engaging in consensual bigamy," and it equated advertising these products with the commercial promotion of prostitution.
The court ruled:
"The sale of a device [such as vibrators or dildos] that an individual may choose to use during intimate conduct with a partner in the home is not the 'sale of sex' (prostitution)."
Summing up, the judges declared, "The case is not about public sex. It is not about controlling commerce in sex. It is about controlling what people do in the privacy of their own homes because the State is morally opposed to a certain type of consensual private intimate conduct. This is an insufficient justification for the statute
You can read the remainder of the article on Cruz and dildos at http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2016/04/ted-cruz-dildo-ban-sex-devices-texas
Thanks to all the people across the USA that fought against Government intrusion into our bedroom. Long-live vibrators.
PS: We are thinking about our newest design – the [Ted] Cruz Missile Vibrators
Not all my sex toy in the news stories are funny; so if you don't want to read a story that will make you say "ICK", you should skip this one!
I'm all for making jokes and saying things to make people laugh. Even saying things that shock people can be ok because it gets them thinking. But in today's time — in the new "War On Sex" that has been pushed upon us, the audience of those jokes and comments need to be considered. Say something to the wrong group of people now and you are fired; possibly banned; and potentially charged as a sex offender.
Just ask the math teacher from Encinal High School in Alameda, California, who allegedly, as a joke, gave an extra credit assignment that ended his career:
The alleged assignment was to rifle through their parent's drawers, and other hiding places, looking for sextoys, condoms or other "private" items that the parents would be trying to keep away from their kids, and take selfies holding these items.
Although I can see how this could have been a statement made that was never intended to be acted upon, it was one that should have never been made.
For example, "… if you don't believe me, check your parents drawers. Take selfies with whatever you find and I'll give you extra credit if you prove me wrong".
We don't know what was said, and even students have taken to the internet to defend the teacher, stating that the entire selfies debacle was taken out of context.
Parents weren't happy and demanded the teachers's immediate termination. Even as a joke, why would a geometry teacher make such an offer? If it was the sex ed class — well maybe, but even then I think parents would have had a fit.
I don't know where I stand on the issue. I remember years ago when teachers told students they should be on the look out for drugs (after an anti-drug presentation) and should turn-in any suspicious things they found. The next day, a half dozen kids came to school with their parents crack pipes, marijuana stash, and other items. Needless to say, the parents weren't happy about the police knocking on the door. At least with the sextoys, they weren't breaking any laws!
PS: The selfie phenomena crosses all ages, groups, nationalities.
A “furry” couple was recently arrested for having “furry sex” with a boy 15 years old. The couple were gamers (and furries), and met the boy, who was probably “furry-less” while playing the RPG Dungeons and dragons.
According to the Facebook messages between the couple and the boy (doesn’t anyone delete their naughty messages anymore???), the boy was treated as the couple’s “pet goat”.
Although the original article doesn’t mention the reason behind him being their “pet goat”, I had to look that up. I found two references to “pet goat” – one was a CGI movie, and one is more interesting, as it is the book that George W Bush Jr, was reading to children during the tower attacks of 2001.
According to the children’s story, a “pet goat” is known for eating everything in its path. Even wiki agrees, “In cartoons, goats are often shown eating any object they can”. I’m sure you can draw your own conclusions.
To make matters worse, there is a #goatfursona Instagram tag. I know now that I have lived a sheltered life. I didn’t realize it before; but I do now.
The couple, Emily, 22 and Jacob, 26, were charged with corruption of a minor. Fur real – it gets even more interesting. Emily normally takes on the persona of cat; and Jacob takes on the persona (well, to be more accurate, a “fursona”, a portmanteau of the words) of a goat during their encounters.
“Furries” are humans who are fans of anthropomorphic animals and dress up in animal costumes (sometimes head, arms and legs only), and take on the persona (“fursona”) of the animal they have chosen to become. Anthropomorphic animals, btw, are animals with human characteristics (like Mickey Mouse, although I have yet to see a furry chose to have sex as Mickey Mouse! And who really wants to fuck Goofy??).
Is Pony Play or Bronies the same thing?
No. Bronies is a separate subset, specifically for fans of “My Little Pony”. Puppy and Pony Play are types of role playing which are part of the BDSM community. One person takes on the actions and mannerisms of a pony, including dressing to the part. The BDSM community denies any connection to the furry community.
Back to furries: They often engage in sexual acts, while in costume, and in character. These sexual acts (sometimes intercourse, but often, only outercourse) have been nicknamed “Y.I.F.F”, for “Young Incredibly Fuckable Furry”.
Furries do not see the sex act (or Y.I.F.F) to be anything serious. It is not like “Let’s Fuck” or “Let’s Make Love”. It is more on the lines of “Let’s Play” because furries don’t attach the seriousness to the sexual act – similar to how animals view the sexual act.
When animals have sex, they have sex and then they are done. It is time to get a snack or go for a run. They don’t think about anything, or wonder if the goat is going to call tomorrow. Hey, let’s YIFF!!
In the story at hand, Jacob admitted would engage in “pet training” with the boy, and lead him around the apartment on a leash, as well as leading him to a food bowl containing cheesecake. I thought the inclusion of “cheesecake” rather than goat food was a nice touch!
(On a side note, I’m certain the people involved in this story nor any of the news writers who initially penned an article about it, thought about the one of the more famous female erotic artists.
Let Them Eat Cheesecake: The Art of Olivia De Berardinis.)
In our story, Jacob was a dominant goat and instructed Emily, his cat, to kiss and have sex with the boy (their pet goat in training). Jacob (the dominant goat) also had sex with the pet goat. Are you following all of this?
All of this goat and cat sex must have been pretty incredible as the goat and the cat decided they wanted to adopt the younger goat, and raise him as their own. I guess the only real problem was that he was 15, and his parents had other plans for him than to become a pet goat.
Here is some more scientific data for you to digest. In many studies, almost 2/3 of furries relate to being bisexual or homosexual, with the largest portion (more than 50%) self-identifying as bisexual.
A furry wrote “The furry kingdom tends to be more open and accepting”. It is also possible that the cloak of the fursona helps a person to experiment and realize their inner feelings of sexual desire.
Here we go with statistics again. Over 75% of furries are under the age of 25. Over 83% are white. Over 84% “identify” as male.
I don’t know about you, but I can understand the statistics for bisexuality and homosexuality. A population of 84% male would be quite a disappointing sausage fest if you didn’t also like sausage.
Nothing can compare to the episode on CSI featuring furries. According to members of the furry kingdom, this exposure changed their world forever. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fur_and_Loathing
Fur and Loating – S04E05 of CSI:Crime Scene Investigation
Generally, furries argue that what they do hurts no one and that it is all about choice. Jacob and Emily should done a little more research, because even faux animals must abide by the age of consent law.
Why is it so difficult to reach college students that want part time income? Or just enough money for the weekend to go drinking. It doesn’t make any sense to me. I KNOW there are some college students out there that want a few extra bucks. I know there are students who can write about sex.
When I was in college, everyone pouted and said “I wish I could find something easy to do and make some beer money without taking a job in fast food”. Give ME a chance to sit in my dorm room in my underwear, with my favorite tunes playing, and write about sex. Yeah, it would have taken me even longer to graduate college.
When you search for “college student jobs”, you find ridiculous claims about “write articles from home and make $28.80 per hour and more!”. Then you click through to the linked article and can’t find ANY mention of the money you will earn. It is click bait. And it worked.
I know there are deranged college students out there that have the gift of writing; whose fingers can tickle the keys of the keyboard so well that readers get goose bumps and blush. I know this because these people exist everywhere. Someone knows someone that is an incredible writer; and can tell a mesmerizing story.
They are in school – where everything in their lives is likely paid for (with the exception of their social activities) — and that is where I come in. I want to find these key-“boarders“. I have a great “park” for them to play in.
But I can’t reach them.
Here at LoveWorks DotCom, we write about sex; if a story line has even the slightest tie to sex, then it gets put on the list. I have even stretched that rule so far that I wrote about a WordPress plugin because I use it to manage a “sexual oriented” website. Trust me, I stretched that one as far as I could.
Chances are — every college student has a paypal account so that we could send payment. Even if they didn’t, there are other ways (not as convenient) we can deliver payments.
Payments … you aren’t going to get rich writing. At least not writing for us. You aren’t going to make “28.80 per hour” as the click bait tells you. But they aren’t going to let you write about sex.
Depending on what you write, the quality, and the length, you are going to make $5-20 per article. That may not sound like much, but consider what you have in it — 30 minutes to 3 hours of your time; you didn’t drive anywhere; nor did you need to listen to anyone tell you what to do.
Build up your experience writing for us and you might be able to land one of the better paying writing gigs. But they don’t take beginners. We do.
Plus, while writing for us — you weren’t forced to listen to people complain about how the burrito was made incorrectly. You didn’t need to put on a hair net or a hat. You didn’t even need to put on clothes — provided you are in a private space of course. We can’t be responsible if you walked to the library in the buff. That is on you!
Imagine — you are studying “The chemical composition of plastic shopping bags” and realize you need a break. You switch to your writing program (most likely WORD, hint-hint) where you had previously created a topic sentence of a story you wanted to write.
For the next 30 minutes, you turn your mind from chemistry to the relaxing, entertaining, and theraputic topic of “anything sex”.
This doesn’t only apply to college students. Anyone who likes to write about subjects that they usually don’t get to talk about is welcome to hit us up.
That is what makes this opportunity so fantastic. Almost ANY TOPIC RELATING TO SEX in a positive way is game on (provided of course, it isn’t hateful; considered bullying, etc. Those are negatively-focused articles and we don’t want that).
To us, sex is positive, fun, entertaining and sometimes embarrassing or humorous. Sometimes more humorous than we want it to be.
Trans students (put your beer down, that doesn’t mean foreign exchange students) would probably have the most to say about their lifetime of experiences and the issues regarding their sexuality. Chances are they have so much to say that would enlighten others. We welcome you to blow out your life on paper for others to read — and hopefully have a better understanding of your journey.
TikTok is full of trans posters, but making contact and talking about writing hasn’t been easy. However Tiktok is truly a treasure trove of stories waiting to be told.
Yes, I am on TikTok at @loveworksdotcom. But don’t go looking for videos. I’m too ugly for that.
The same holds true with Bi and Gay students — especially those who are “not out”. The frustrations you have and the things you do to keep people from figuring you out – while trying to have relationships on the down low.
Guys, the emotions you have and the struggles you face while sitting across from your girlfriend at Starbucks, setting up dates through Grindr on your phone. Think of the Grindr experiences you could share — from the people you meet who have catfished you to stupid things people say and ask on these dating apps.
I guess I should include “pan sexual” students as well — although since I am old, I lump pan and bi into one group. Are you pan? Did I set you off by putting you in the same category as Bi? Good! Now write about it.
The first thing people tell me when I start talking about writing is “I don’t like to write”. But they are usually confused about the difference between writing for fun and writing for Calculus 101, or the history of the tire (yes, I know it is made of rubber, and we can write about rubber, but try to stay with me here). Stay focused!
Many of us have stories that we want to tell but don’t know how or where to share. Many of us have stories we won’t (or CAN’T) tell our best friend. Write those stories! Tell a million strangers! The first 20 words are the most difficult — then word-diarrhea kicks in and you have written 1000 words before you know it.
Although it is easier to write a story that is mostly based on truth, some not-so-true parts of the story don’t matter. For example, no one cares whether the girl in your story was from Kappa Kappa Gamma, or Alpha Phi.
It doesn’t matter if your story line was set at McNeese University or Harvard. Or whether the rope you bought was from LoveWorks‘ Store or Home Depot. The point is, you used rope!
You can shield yourself from any incriminating parts of the story. With all new names for your “starring cast” you can get to work writing.
As I said, this doesn’t just apply to college students. You don’t have to be in college – but you do need to write and you need to write well. Your English and your spelling must be accurate and proper. We don’t expect literary experts (we wouldn’t know an expert if it hit us in the face), because as you can tell, we are far from experts of the written word. But you must be able to build cohesive sentences, structured accurately with the timeline of your story.
The article you submit must be ORIGINAL. We test all articles for plagiarism by using Copyscape. Your article must pass with a 100% original result.
We don’t care about your CV or resume, or your curriculum, or what you have studied, or who your daddy is. There is no applying, or interviews, or Skype “getting to know you”.
We want you to write. Write an interesting article that somehow surrounds sexual experiences or knowledge. If we like it, we pay. If we don’t, we let you know and will try not to break your heart. Super simple. Easy Peazy (I have always wanted to write that in a post).
What we DO NOT WANT is porn. We are not looking for Erotica, or porn stories. We are not looking for a story about what your genitals were feeling and doing. Maybe some day, but not today.
We want you to write about sex — interesting articles, experiences, feelings — about sex, sexuality, gender, phobias, sexual orientation, sexual identity, pain and pleasure, sexual acceptance, rejection and your unique experiences of sexual exploration — what you felt when you experienced different parts of sexual relationships: POSITIVE experiences that you have had.
Give me 60 seconds, and I will give you 60 story ideas. And if you really think about it — you could do the same.
In 40 minutes, I wrote the first 1000 words. Then I went back and re-wrote some parts that I didn’t think were clear enough and added 400 words to this post.
Now I am off to bottoms up a bisexual Dr Pepper while snacking on some gay Doritos.
If I am still hungry, I might uber over to Burger King, and have a rainbow Whopper.
Don’t know what I am talking about? You haven’t spent enough time experiencing the written stimulation.
It is what we do. Stimulate the brain and have fun.
If you need more assistance, send us an email. If you are ready, write your first article and email to us.
Please Share!! Celebrity love dolls have been around since the beginning of time. So it was bound to happen; just a matter of time really. We have had a bunch of other celebrity dolls over the years, and many were no where near as famous as the Donald. This seems like a good time to remember some of them. Not all of them are still sold (thank goodness!). You are going to be shocked when you see how many of these celebrity love dolls have been on the market!!
The slogans they come up with are often ridiculous. Can you come up with better sales slogans about these dolls just for fun? Please add them to the comments.
"Discontinued" means we no longer stock the item as the manufacturer has stopped production and we have sold all of our stock. If you are a celebrity love dolls collector, try eBay for the discontinued dolls.
Dolls that I expected to find – but did not: Farrah Fawcett! Suzanne Somers! Jessica Alba (supposedly made by Pipedream).
Lets start with:
The Donald. Another of the Presidential Love Dolls! It is too early to say anything about the Donald sex doll, other than he is 69 years old (why didn't they use this on the box!) and is one year older than Hillary.
Blow up Barack, One of the Presidential Love Dolls!
What your typical liberal male has been yearning for! The Obaminator! No more biting the pillow merely dreaming of Barack! Pull his ears, and in a slurping voice, he will say "I vow to redistribute wealth to the least deserving! I will dismantle the imperialistic war machine! All health matters will funnel through Washington!" and lose your juice when he says "I will pursue war crime charges against Bush!!"
Horny Hillary Sex Doll. "She can't wait to share her oval orifice with you. No Cigars". "Her Presidential hole is ready for your pole!" Another of the presidential love dolls.
Meet Horny Hillary, the nation's oldest piece of Presidential poontang ever to blaze the campaign trail!
Like a bottle of fine wine, this grey-haired GILF just gets better with age! Over the years, she's done a great job of balancing family and public service, but lately the only thing she's trying to balance is the beam on her bathroom scale! When the former First Lady isn't busy worrying where Billy sticks his willy, this slutty Senator's honey hole is begging for your pleasure pole! Just add air and this president-erect will have every red-blooded American man rising to the occasion! Who cares if she couldn't even satisfy her own hubby – she promises not to pull out of this race until you finish on her face!
Just-in Beaver. "I wanna be your boy toy". "Finally 18". "Bieber Tells All: Selena can suck the gold off my grammy!" "I'm not gay! Ok, maybe a lil" "Bieber Fever".
Meet Just-In Beaver, the barely legal boy-toy who's waited 18 long years to stick his lil' dicky in something sticky! When he's not busy beating up paparazzi or beating off, he's up to his high-tops in hot Hollywood tail! But the Beave-ster doesn't have this effect just on women “he turns straight men gay faster than you can peel his skinny jeans off! So what are you waiting for, inflate this lil' pricks's ego even more and have your very own Beaver bash!
J-Law. "She's got the hunger for hard core and she ain't playing games!"
JHo Famous Fanny Love Doll. (Discontinued). "She's your petite Puerta Rican Princess!" "She's got the ASS everyone dreams about".
We're not sure what came faster, news of J-Laws leaked selfies or the thousands of guys waiting for this day to finally come! She did the world a favor when her sexy selfies spread across the internet, and now Hollywood's honey is getting naked for the money! If hacked cell phone pics weren't enough to make J-Law our favorite new selfie slut, her brand new blowup doll is proof that this blockbuster babe is ready for primetime penetration! Just add air and this American hustler transforms into America's hooker right before your eyes! There's no silver lining to her 3 love holes, but if you add a little lube they feel great wrapping around every inch of your pleasure rod! Her cloud got hacked so you can get jacked!
Princess Lay-Her. "Love Whore Star Doll". "May the foreskin be with you". "Cumming in a theater near you!".
This is not Sarah Palin. (Discontinued). "Cross party lines with your own inflatable running mate" Another of the presidential love dolls.
Monica Blewinski. (Discontinued). "Official Presidential Intern Kit". "A necessity for getting A HEAD in politics."
Elle Celebrity Love Doll (Discontinued). "Get it on with the famous Elle".
Finally Miley! (Discontinued). 3 achey love holes. "She's young, dumb, and old enough for cum!"
Britney Bitch! (Discontinued). "3 Toxic Love Holes". "Oops. She did it again". "Oh bang me baby".
Paris Love Doll. "3 tender love openings, to satisfy you orally, vaginally, and anally". "I'm a filthy rich bitch, and I mean filthy!" "The seductive socialite gets down and dirty". "She's a high class piece of ass".
Have the hots for the queen of "That's Hot"? Let Paris show you how she can please you like she did in her sexumentary… This seductive socialite may be filthy rich, but she also is filthy when it comes to making you cum! She'll love you orally, anally, and vaginally. Don't let her social status intimidate the way she pleases you. She'll have you purring like a kitten.
Lindsay Blowhand Sex Doll (Discontinued). "She'll steal your heart". "Weee! I'm so wasted". "Blow not included. 3 Blowholes." "Not seen on TV, with Electronic Ankle bracelet".
Meet Lindsay, the feisty firecrotch blowup babe who's future is always "on the rocks!" This juggy jailbird will steal more than just your heart… she'll swipe your jewels and empty your booze cabinet faster than you can send her to rehab! Never mind her legal issues- just add air and you can be her daddy for the night! She's seen more bars than an AA dropout- give her your hammer in her slammer and sentence her to some hard time! Pick a hole and see if this raunchy redhead's carpet matches the drapes!
Pamela Love Doll. (Discontinued). "Busty Blonde Bombshell on duty". "3 Terrific Love Holes".
She's the world's sexiest lifeguard and she's here to rescue you! Meet Pamela, the busty blonde beach babe with the big tits and even bigger sex drive. This voluptuous vixen is always on duty and ready to please you. Pick a love hole and let her satisfy you orally, vaginally or anally…this naughty lifeguard saves orgasms, let her give you one tonight!
Shananay. (Discontinued). Who doesn't know Shananay???
She put the H in Hoochie-Mama and went from ashy to classy! Meet Shananay, the ghetto fabulous blow-up babe with mocha chocolate skin and a bootylicious backside. She's got junk in the trunk and lips that could suck the chrome off some 22s, but that never stopped her from having a good time! This loud and proud piece of ass never says no…Just add air and she's ready to blow!
Lady Gag Gag Sex Doll. (Discontinued). "I wanna take a ride on your disco stick". "She loves you when you poke her face".
Take Home Tiger Woods. (Discontinued). "He's got MAJOR wood!" "He will show you his WOOD if you will show him your HOLE". "He's always ready to plan an extra hole or two!" "The #1 Golf Love Doll".
She Ain't No Beyonce. (Discontinued). "You don't have to put a ring on this slutty siren". "This single lady has all the right moves". "Bootylicious Babe". "She's crazy in love with cock".
Kinky Kim. (Discontinued). "When you stick it in her face, it will get all over the place". "3 hungry love holes". [What is the deal with the food. The picture has her eating; and then her holes are “hungry”?]
Meet Kinky Kim, the busy bubble butt bimbo who's had more dark meat in her than a bucket of fried chicken! No one really knows what she's famous for except cellulite and her insatiable appetite for filthy sex! This dirty lil diva wants you to stick it in her face and get it all over the place in her crack or on her back, between her thighs, or in her eyes; in her snatch or down the hatch! Her three hungry love holes are starving for your man meat! Serve it to her piping hot, make it big, and load her with your secret sauce!
Guido Love Doll. (Discontinued).
He's Jersey's #1 Juiced up Gigolo. Whatta douche! He's gotta big, beefy sausage. This Dude's Mad Sexy … YO! Now you can have your very own version of Jersey's most juiced up gigolo! Meet Guido, the bronzed-up zippahead with rock-hard abs and more juice than Tropicana. Just add air and this pumped up douche bag is ready to make your fist-pump and your panties wet. He's got a beefy italian sauseege (sic) under his jeans and more lines than loose leaf! Give this greaseball a chance to get in your pants and ride his italian stallion!
Crackhead Charlie. (Discontinued).
Duhhh! Winning! Rated "R" for Retard. Meet Crackhead Charlie, the winning wacko! He's high on himself and full of hot air! You don't have to be a slutty porn goddess to party with this radical rockstar from Mars. Just add air and this neurotic nutjob will show you his two and a half personalities, warlock fangs, fire breathing fists, and adonis DNS. Don't be a foolish little troll, experience the bitchin' drug they call Charlie and let him rock your world.
Sarah Jessica Porkher love sex in her shitty. (Discontinued).
Jessica Simpson Love Doll. (Discontinued).
There is no pleasure without sin! I need dick! Fuck me! Explore the dark side of this sexy lil angel!
Jessica Love Doll.
She's sexy, newly single, and ready for your cock! This teasing triple threat can act, sing and fuck all night long. She might not know the difference between tuna and chicken but she sure knows the difference between a hard cock and the loser she dumped. This hot blonde bombshell has three thrilling holes to satisfy your every desire, and since she's dumb as an ox, she never says no! Jessica will suck you, fuck you, and sing your name while you slam her. What will her Daddy think? Awe who cares, she's all yours to do as you please!
Christina Aguilera love doll. (Discontinued).
This naughty nympho never says no. She can't wait to satisfy your every desire. She's ready to rock n roll. 3 Thrilling love holes. Lets Get Dirty!
This dirty diva is as nasty as they come! She went from being an innocent pop-star princess to a full-fledged slut overnight, and she can't wait to satisfy your every desire! Her three tender love holes are begging to be filled with everything you've got. Satisfy yourself orally, vaginally or even anally – Dirty Christina wants to rock your cock!
Tori Spelling Love Doll – 9021-HO. (Discontinued).
"Hit the jackpot with this rich little bitch". "Will you be my sugar daddy?" Meet Tori, the rich little bitch from Beverly Hills who wants to be your private 9021-HO. She's looking for a new sugar daddy to give her what she needs fat shopping sprees and even fatter cocks in one of her three tender love holes. These days, family feuds have Tori feeling down and really horny! And just like her mother, this busty blonde bitch babe never says no! She's all yours, cash in and show her who's daddy!
Eva Longoria Desperate Housewives Sex Doll. (Discontinued).
She's your whore next door! Her man's away and she loves to play.
I don't know what to make of this. Supposedly it is a mannequin at Walmart. But I have my doubts, especially with the inferences (the man obviously between her legs!). From the show "superstore".
The co-star jonah wants to get even with a co-worker, so he buys a sex doll to dress up like her. Except that this is not one of those cheap dolls – this is a true top-of-the-line silicone FULLY REALISTIC sex dolls, but gets caught in an embarrassing position. I guess that is what this picture represents!
Oh no, they didn't! Yes, they did. The Ryan's Secrets Sex Doll. (Discontinued). "The most powerful perv in television has a dirty little secret!".
WEB: " Ryan's mouth is wide open to take it all in. We've waited years for this metrosexual media mogul to finally come out of the closet, but the truth is, he goes both ways and he's proud of it. This switch-hitting sicko will stick his pole in any hole, as long as it's warm and tight. He's addicted to superstar sex and he'll do anything to put his little dicky in something sticky. His "Secret's Out. " now and the whole world knows, will you still vote for him to be your next American My-Doll? " hahahhahahah
Katy Perry Pervy Love Doll.
Meet Katy Pervy, the big-boobed candy-loving cocksucker who's got a sweet tooth and a salty snatch! Last Friday night, this curvy carpet-muncher kissed a girl and liked it …and now she wants to suck and swallow some hard candy! When she's not slurping slits, she's taking creamy cum loads in her snatch and down her hatch. Her teen-dreams are filled with lollicocks, cumdrops, and creampies between her thighs! Squeeze her huge milk duds, smear her cherry chapstick all over your cock, and give her a juicy jizz bomb down her throat! How many licks does it take to get to the center of this sexy sweet-tart?
Now why would anyone put their favorite sex toy or masturbator in the microwave? In the name of science of course! And thankfully, my friendly sensei did it for me, because I didn't want to destroy either my toys OR my microwave!
Here is the translation:
Title: What would happen to an onahole if it is heated up to its limits? [Teach me, Karuto Sensei]
Ok, so in today's "Teach me, Karuto Sensei" …
For now, I bought a microwave oven, and… as the title says, we'll see what happens when we heat up an "onahole sex toy" (personal masturbator made of real-feel material) to its limits with this experiment.
So, here is what I tried before, and it became like this. Somewhat a failure, I say. It burst and tore a little bit.
When you insert your finger, you can feel the insides aren't good anymore.
Anyways, looking at this rubber material, we can get an idea of what an onahole is made of. I won't explain anything so for now, let's do it.
So I had another one, and it's like this. (EDITOR: Why does he have so many masturbators?)
It's a bit dirty, but when I bought this before, it was still soft. This seems a bit good, so we'll heat this up.
This was called "Honor student sex toy" by the way. For now, let’s heat it up. Let's set it to 30 minutes.
Before we do this, please don't try this at home if possible. Even I myself don't know what happen. So yeah, let's get this done with quick.
I think in 5 minutes or so, it would probably get soft.
Actually, warming up an onahole before using it makes the experience a tad different. Using it as it is (unheated) makes it feel that you're doing a dead person, which isn't that good. [EDITOR: Well, he is exaggerating. It isn't that bad because the friction of using it warms it up for you, and you can feel the toy getting warmer as you move in and out, which is actually not a bad feeling!]
Warming it up a bit makes it feel like you're doing a real person and it's really good. [EDITOR: I think that most people would agree that doing a "real person" is always good!]
When I was back home too, I challenged myself. So I inserted it into a microwave oven, and after that, I dropped it into a hot bath (hot water).
Also, I blasted hot wind on it using a hair dryer. The best one is using a hair dryer, but when you're not careful, it will become like this (destroyed). [EDITOR: We don't suggest using the hair dryer method. Running hot water through the toy provides enough heat to make it feel warm; a hair dryer will damage the toy before you realize how how it gets. Once the toy is damaged and slightly melted, you can not use it safely!]
So for this, I'm not thinking about just heating it up. I just want to know what happens when it's heated up to its limits. I will cut the footage in here or so. Again, I myself don't know what would happen so I suggest not trying this at home.
*CUT
After 4 minutes, it doesn't have any problems yet, so we'll continue.
*CUT
After 16 minutes, there was no change at all.
*CUT
There's 6 minutes left. There's a clanking sound I can hear coming from the microwave oven. Looking at it, there doesn't seem to be much of a change. I’ll fast forward it a bit.
*CUT
There's 1 minute left. From here, let's see what happens.
Well, it looks normal, I think. 30 seconds left.
10 seconds left. 9… 8… 7… 6… 5… 4… 3… 2… *ding 1… 0.
Oh no. Oh no. Is this an onahole? Even I myself saw this for the first time. What the hell is this? What the hell is this? Oh no. What the hell is this? The clanking sound was made by the plate I see.
It looks delicious though. I have no idea what the hell just happened. The original shape is no more. Well, It's soft and has a nice pink color. It looks like a high school girl's [vagina]… Not that I've done one before though. [EDITOR: Hmmmmmm. We won't touch that comment.]
Nice pink color. It looks and feels like a dessert. I want to taste it. This has turned into something useless now. This looks bad. It melted…
Well, I thought it would melt, but not like this. If I do this on an oven toaster, it would probably be worse than this. But Anyway, it melted, first time I see it this soft. [EDITOR: Yes, the over toaster would be worse and might be a fire hazard, so please don't try that one!]
It doesn't look good, but it melted. This is just like a yoyo. This looks like a green slime, interesting. It also looks like a mochi (Japanese sticky rice cake)
It's hot. This experiment has become a disaster. Hot! I bought this microwave oven 2 days before for 3999 yen. $36USD!! Cheap Microwave!
Anyways, this will pass of an ozouni (soup containing rice cakes and vegetables – A new year's dish) if you serve it during new year’s.
We're done her for now. So yeah, thank you very much
[EDITOR: Another sex toy destroyed in the name of science!]
Are you a male New Yorker? Are you feeling stressed at work? Need a few moments to “take a load off”? You are in luck! A London-based adult store has brought the gift of relief to men all over New York, with the GuyFi masturbation booths.
A Guy Fi booth is a recycled phone booth that is made for convenient male masturbation twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. A man can slip into the booth, pull the curtain and use the attached laptop to view porn, and jack off until he blows the stress right out of his body. According to the rules, these aren’t buddy booths however; only one customer is allowed at a time.
Although public masturbation booths are not legal, this London-based company validates their booths by using them as publicity tactics to grab the attention of American Men. They state that the booths can be used in any way a man wishes to use them. In the first few days of existence on the New York Streets, the Guy Fi Booth had more than 100 men take advantage of its services.
I’m sure that Pee Wee Herman can relate to the idea of masturbation booths (Pee Wee Herman Scandal). Although he might frown upon having them in public. Then again, being in private didn’t help his argument very much either!
According to a survey, approximately 39% of the New York workforce alleviates stress through masturbation in the bathroom at work. Hot Octopuss believes more people would be promoted and happier if they took advantage of the booths provided to step away from the workplace and relieve stress in the Guy Fi booths often.
"Honey, I'm off to work!" "Ok, do you have everything dear? Sunglasses? Keys? Phone? Jack-off lube for later in the executive mensroom? So have a nice day! Think of me!"
According to many scientists, masturbation and the alone time during masturbation, is essential for the reduction of stress and depression, and for the enhancement of self esteem. The healthier the employee, the better results the company will have in the productivity department.
Cleanliness and maintenance of these busy booths is in question with many people in New York. They ask who is cleaning these? Where does the mess go? People are online advising others to enter at their own risk. Diseases and germs are harboring behind the scenes of the Guy Fi. Maybe they should have paper targets on the wall and goggles for safety. Bullseye! Oh, and I’m thinking of revising someone else’s jingle: Guy Fi Fo Cum. Exclamation Point!
Ok, so yes, we are sort of kidding. It was a great marketing ploy but there won’t be a jerk off booth on Manhattan streets anytime soon.
This is a post I have been wanting to make for a long time but never got around to it. After 25 years of owning and operating adult sex toy stores, I started thinking about the people who won’t have anything to do with me. Even though my money is green and spends just like anyone else, I have been told to “go away” many times.
Here are a few of the companies and people that have told us to “go away” and refused to do business with us. These are just the ones I can remember — I know there have been others.
1. Helium Delivery Man: We buy helium tanks for the stores to fill balloons for bachelorette parties, wedding and divorce celebrations and much more. Obviously when the tank is empty, we call the company and a new tank is delivered. Only this time, the days kept passing after we called and no new helium tank was being delivered. After repeated calls, we finally discovered that the helium delivery man refused to walk into our store to make the delivery.
2. Computer Tech: We had a computer tech come to the store to troubleshoot some computer related problem, but would only enter through the rear (office) door and wouldn’t leave the office! That goodness there was no problem with a computer in the actual store itself or he wouldn’t have gone into the store. Yes, we told HIM to “go away” and no, we never called him again.
3. Certified Public Accountant (CPA): After many years in business, and 22 years of handling our taxes, our company CPA retired. We had a referral and placed a call. As soon as we told him the name of the company, he interrupted and said go away: “No thanks, I’m not interested in your business”.
4. Graphic Designer: In the first years of existence, we had the most incredible graphics designer providing us with logo designs, fliers, brochures and many other items. Then one morning I receive a packet full of all the drafts and other items I had sent to the designer over the years, with NO note. I called and his message was short and sweet: “I have decided that due to my religious beliefs, I can no longer do business with you. It has always bothered me but now, I can’t do it anymore”.
5. Fiverr: Most everyone has heard of fiverr, or “things I will do for $5”. It is place to get small items done; quick research, have a story written; or many other items. We have been told to “go away” by more fiverr service providers than you can imagine. They don’t want to do business with anyone in the “adult” business. That is a pretty wide category since we have nothing to do with nudity or explicitly sexual conduct. To them, “condom sales” put you squarely in the adult business genre.
6. Advertising Reps: I always thought ad reps would take ANY client with money. I found out through a replacement rep, that my assigned salesperson refused to accept our account “because of the type of store”.
7. Help Wanted Newspaper Ads: In Texas, there is a newspaper that refused to accept our “help wanted” newspaper ads because they did not want to do business with any “adult” business. Are you kidding me? You are telling me to go away because you don’t want to run my ads looking for people to work in my store??? OMG. All of the local college papers and yellow pages also refused our ads — even after their sales reps guaranteed placement acceptance.
8. CHASE BANK: In 2015, Chase Bank notified me that it would no longer accept our checking and savings account business. Their letter
couldn’t be more clear — Go Away. Because we were an “adult” store that sold “adult products” and “adult video” Chase no longer wanted to be our bank – even though we had banked at Chase for many, many years. Here is a great interpretation: Attempted Censorship by Money.
We weren’t the only account that Chase pursued and closed. There were THOUSANDS of account closures all over the United States. The true number of account closures will never be known but it rattled the adult industry.
This was a huge move to make it difficult for companies who sell adult product to survive. Thankfully not all banks have followed the Chase example, but the point was clearly made. There is a politically-organized movement to increase the pressure on — and try to eliminate — adult businesses.
Even though the accounts they closed were relatively small in general; and incredibly MINUTE compared to the money Chase handles, this move was one that I don’t think will be forgotten by anyone that was affected.
But that is what happens when banks get too big. It is easy to say “go away”.
I have always maintained an open mind about sex and sexual practices (or, what some writers call "sexual deviations"). Sometimes however, I see and hear things that are difficult for me to comprehend. Today's post is about weird dildos: one of those items that is beyond my ability to understand. Now, don't get me wrong — I "accept" it, as I do with other sexual proclivities. I really believe in the phrase, "Whatever turns you on" — or the older phrase, "Whatever floats your boat." In the case of sex toys, it would be the "little man in the boat"!
But when I saw the "21 Grams Memory Box", I just shook my head. This memory box is known as a keepsake urn and is designed around a dead partner. It has a spray bottle to release his/her favorite scent into the air. It has various storage places for trinkets and reminders of the departed love one. It locks with a key attached to a golden necklace.
And it has a golden urn inside a glass dildo. "Ummmm. Do what? I though you said it had an URN inside a DILDO?" Yes. You read correctly. There is a golden urn that will hold 21 grams of your loved one's ashes inside of a FULLY USABLE glass dildo. As I said — this must be the top of the list for weird dildos!
Yeah, I know. That is the "icky" factor that I have trouble wrapping my head around.
The urn offers the possibility to conserve 21 grams of ashes of the deceased
and displays an immortal desire.
If she wishes she is able to have an intimate night with her sweetheart again but
21 Grams is not just a way to tempt a person to revive an intimate night
but more important; …
Direct from the developer's site. "An intimate night with her sweetheart again". And the glass of the dildo is … well, again, I'm taking this directly from the creator's website … "mouth blown glass".
And while I am at it, this is weird too, but not quite as much. 🙂 I can handle putting a dog mask on your partner more than the above item.
