What is an Enema and Why do I need one??

The question everyone who hasn’t experienced anal sex wants to know is “what is an enema” and “what does it do to make anal sex better”?  It doesn’t really make anal sex better, it just makes things less messy. 

Poo.  It is not pretty, but it is a reality of any type of anal play, especially anal intercourse. 

Going to the toilet and having a bowel movement an hour or so prior to undertaking any sexual activities usually takes care of any fecal material in the last few inches of the anal canal just above your anal opening and the sphincter muscles.

How do you make yourself poop on command?  Most of the time I can’t do it.  I go to the toilet when my body tells me it is time.  Without that message, I am sitting on the toilet playing games on my phone.

To learn about cleaning up for anal sex, I looked for reviews written by guys; bottoms to be exact.  I read about some of the things they do to be prepared for anal sex.

Dedicated bottoms watch what they eat before a session

It was a surprise to me to learn that dedicated “receptive anal sex partners” to use a ridiculously long phrase for a bottom, will changed their eating habits hours before expecting to have sex. 

They avoid red meats, spicy foods (seriously!), pastries and cakes.  Fruit might upset the stomach, and alcohol might get the system working overtime.  Ideally, the most prepared bottoms will eat anything that tends to lean more toward constipation and stopping things up instead of foods that increase the flow.

I understand that but this girl likes to eat.  To think that I have to give up some of the foods I like in order to ride the baloney pony just doesn’t go far in my playbook.  Right now I am laughing to myself thinking about the arguments the ladies of The View could have if this was the subject du jour.

Can you imagine the discussions among the ladies as to whether corn should be on the “to eat” or “not to eat” list?  For me, it is going to be on the “not to eat” list because the last thing I would ever want to see were yellow corn kernels on the anal sex towel we put down.  Ewww.

To avoid all this, I choose to use an enema and be sure that those first few inches are ready.  And I know a few people will start having anxiety about enemas – and yes I know there are some opinions on the web that you should not use an enema before sex.  Just like there are opinions that you should do this or not do that. 

What is an enema? Really. I’m asking.

What is an enema?  The technical definition is “An enema, also known as a clyster, is an injection of fluid into the lower bowel by way of the rectum. Also, the word enema can refer to the liquid so injected, as well as to a device for administering such an injection”. (wiki)

I choose to take an enema.  I use a water filled enema bottle, while I am on a towel on the floor of my bathroom, with my ass in the air – and by head on the floor.  This position allows the water to flow “up hill” and make sure there is not poop just barely out of reach.

After applying a water-based lubricant to the tip of the enema bottle and my anus, I gently slide the tip in, and squeeze the bottle to release the water.

I attempt to hold the water in at least 5 minutes, but I try to make it to 15 minutes.  Usually I am not successful, and when I can’t hold it any longer, I sit on the toilet and let it flow out naturally — DO NOT PUSH it out.

The next part isn’t so pretty.  I look into the toilet bowl and see how dirty the water is.  If it is very dark, I repeat this process because it means …. Well, bluntly, it means I’m full of shit. 

If the color is murky, but sort of clear, I know I am good to go.  My next step is to wash my anus and the surrounding area with a mild bath soap to make sure there is no poo residue on my skin.

I never use store bought pre-mixed enemas and you should not either unless advised by a doctor for a specific reason.

Larger enema bottles are better because they empty faster

Over the years, I have purchased a few enema bottles, some slightly larger than others.  The best way to describe them is a squeezable bulb or plastic bottle that you have filled with warm (NOT HOT!) water. 

Your preparations should allow you to give yourself an enema about an hour prior to your partner hitting the Hershey Highway.  Our goal in fact, is to have NO TRAFFIC on the highway!

It is also best not to use an enema more than a few times per week.  Your anal lining is sensitive and it is not a good idea to empty it of the protective oils and important bacteria that are resident.

The enema bottle I use most of the time is the Ultimate Douche Enema Bottle 

It is a squeezable bottle that comes complete with two different size nozzles.  It is a great beginner’s enema.  Both nozzles are about 3.5” long and the difference is in the thickness, although it is minor.  The larger nozzle works better and allows for the water to exit the bottle easier and faster so you can take it out and be done more quickly.  It is filled easily under the faucet.

Give yourself an enema in the bathroom. Please and Thank You.

Even though I described my preferred position as being on a towel on the floor, some people might start out by learning to use the douche shower if they are worried about any “mess”.  I haven’t experienced that problem and I prefer my position. 

What is that song again?  “Ass up, that’s the way I like to” douche??

There are dozens of different types of enema bottles and enema attachments that connect to your waterline in the bathroom, preventing the need for a “bulb” or “bottle”.  I don’t have the need for that, but if I was a regular female “bottom”, I might consider it.  I usually only give up the ass on special occasions.  J

By the way, the bottle to stay away from is the Disposable Douche bottle enema unless you really plan to throw it away after the first or second time, because it is made of paper thin plastic.  It feels cheap!

Using an enema to clean your anus in preparation for anal sex really helps to prevent the fudgey accidents. 

On the other hand, your partner must understand that he is driving the wrong way up the Hershey Highway and it is possible to experience a few speed bumps.  If he can’t deal with that, he should choose a different route.

Don’t forget – the key to exciting (and almost painless) anal sex is the lube you use. And the anal lube you need is not going to be sold at Walmart. LoveWorks has a full selection of quality anal lubes and desensitizers both in store and online.

Take my word for it — or learn the hard way. But don’t say I didn’t warn you …